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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26022868">Complicated Relations</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tormentedintelligence/pseuds/Tormentedintelligence'>Tormentedintelligence</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Babies, Bendemtion, Dark Rey, F/M, Fix it AU, Fluff, HEA, Happy Ending, Kylo Ren - Freeform, M/M, PTSD, Post TROS, Redemtion, Reylo - Freeform, Rough Sex, Smut, Trauma, Twins, a lot of musical references, angst angst angst, dark rey for a little bit, dark side, finn is concerned all the time, mental health, rey and poe do not like each other, reys a badass and she hates sexist assholes, soft reylo</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 06:29:02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>26,202</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26022868</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tormentedintelligence/pseuds/Tormentedintelligence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Post Tros, Ben Solo doesn’t die but things back on the resistance base get heated. Just what I think would happen when Ben returns to the light and how Rey deals with a lot of suppressed trauma.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Poe Dameron/Finn, Rey &amp; Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>43</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. The Aftermath</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Rey had no idea how she had ended up in this situation. Just short of two years ago Rey was working tirelessly to find collect enough scraps of metal to get a meal. Now she had defeated the Emperor who had turned out to be her grandfather. She would never call herself his granddaughter...it was shameful to have Palpatine bloodline in her, he had been filled with hatred and he only cared about power. Rey didn’t think power was important. Power only helped when you had the right motivation and kindest intent. He was not a grandfather, she had no such thing and she didn’t have a family. Realistically all she had was Finn and even then she knew that lately she had been a bit preoccupied with personal drama. </p><p>Rey had done so much to bring Ben Solo back to the light. It hadn’t been easy and he had made sure of that. Kylo Ren was a bastard and that was of his own volition, truthfully. He had made himself a bastard but, bringing him back meant they could win the war and save the galaxy from being ruled by the First Order or worse the Sith. </p><p>Rey two years ago had not even known there was a war going on, she had been busy surviving and calculating out how long she could survive with two half portions of food and water.</p><p> Rey had just died after defeating Palpatine but she wasn’t sure if she really died. She had seen a light and when she went to reach for it but the light began to shrink and she found herself on this..plain of doorways, it was empty, nothing but darkness surrounding her and each door had been locked except one. Now she was being held by Ben Solo who had healed her just how she had healed him on the Death Star when they were fighting, that all felt so long ago. He was back to the light and she could feel it. When their lips pressed together she felt whole and connected. She felt as if she was part of a puzzle and the missing piece had been found. She knew soon they would have to leave, Exegol would most likely just combust from the amount bombs that had fired on it. She pulled away from Ben and realized they had to get the hell out of there if they wanted to survive. </p><p>The only problem at the moment was that they were too hurt to get back up to the surface of Exegol. Rey can tell by his face that he is trying to conceal his pain. Neither of them could risk healing one another, not again...it was too draining and Rey had only been brought back just enough to stay alive. Her breath was short and she swore she felt as if she had been hit by a bunch of bricks which was probably true. </p><p>Ben was nervous, nervous that his healing wasn’t enough to save her. He was sure his ankle was broken, maybe his whole leg and even then his abdomen was in sharp pain but nothing had hurt more than seeing Rey on the ground, lifeless. He’d seen many dead bodies, too many and many of those bodies lives were taken by his old saber. Nothing had ever shaken him to his core before like this. Seeing someone so brave and strong...gone just like that. He wondered if that’s how others felt when he would kill people in his fits of rage but..he defended his actions by blaming it on war. The war was over and he would not take anymore lives, not after knowing the pain it can bring. </p><p>Rey had kissed Ben, pressed her soft but somewhat bloodied lips against his. They deserved this, a happy ending, he thought to himself. But the happy moment had faded when he also realized neither of them were well enough to climb up to their ships. Ben slowly stood up, picking up Rey who seemed to finally realize everything that had just happened. She didn’t feel well and he could tell that if he didn’t get help soon, she’d be gone for good. He was managing his pain as well as he could. For once he was grateful that his training taught him how to let pain fuel you. </p><p>Rey felt something, not a disturbance but someone was worrying about her, it was Finn. Of course he was worried about her. She was a sister to her, one of the kindest and most genuine people he had met. Finn had felt Rey die and it broke his heart but when he felt her again, she was in need of help. Currently on the Falcon with Chewie and Lando, he started to run over to the cockpit. </p><p>“Lando you gotta turn around! It’s Rey...she’s..she’s back I can sense it. Please just turn this damn thing around!” He had said in a panicked voice as Lando put his arms up to not protest. </p><p>“I trust you, kid. That planet isn’t going to stand much longer with the damage that’s been done.” Lando said as he pulled the ship downwards. The ship had landed safely, as Lando was an extremely talented flyer and he had Chewie go with Finn to find Rey. </p><p>Ben was slowly but surely making his way to the top of the surface with Rey in his arms. She was conscious but confused and disoriented. He was grunting as he fell down he accidentally let go of Rey and she was stumbling on the floor, hitting a jagged piece of rock, cutting her top across. She yelled loudly as she covered the blood coming out from her back. Finn heard a scream and he started to make his way down with a flashlight as Chewie roared and started to run down, seeing Rey and a familiar face with her. </p><p>It was Ben...Chewie knew the difference between Kylo and Ben. He remembered when he was just a chubby baby and would braid his Wookiee hair so that he could show Leia the Alderranian braids he had learned to do. That was before the darkness had fully corrupted his nephew. Uncle Chewie and Uncle Lando had been quite present in Ben’s childhood, always making the fiery little baby laugh and run around while Han and Leia argued about their different lifestyles. Once again, that had been a different time, before the chaos, before Kylo Ren killed his father in cold blood. If only he had known how much Ben would continue to regret it. </p><p>Finn made his way down and pointed the blaster at Ben. “It’s over, Ren. There’s nothing left of the Order. Look who’s in charge now huh? Not so scary without your mask huh!” Finn yelled and got in his face as Chewie shook his head and pushed Finn away and roared at him. “Alright, Chewie damn.” He muttered. </p><p>Ben rolled his eyes at FN-2187, or was he going by something else now? “I’m a fellow traitor, FN.” he said and sighed. “Please tell me you’ve brought a ship..I tried to take her up but..we can’t get up there without help..” he said as he began to cough. </p><p>“It’s Finn now..Yeah we’ve got a ship but why should I even let you on it? You’re the one who caused all of this! This was your war and now you want to join the right side when it’s finally over? I should be having you arrested for war crimes!” Finn yelled as Chewie took the bandages from Rey’s arms and wrapped them around her waist where the jagged rock had wounded her. </p><p>“It’s war..everyone’s a goddamned criminal. Do you know how many ruthless murderers you have on your side? There’s a lot you don’t know and I’m the only one left who could tell you where the rest of the First Order hideouts are..if you do leave me down here to die..then at least take care of Rey for me..” Ben grabbed onto his ribs and held them tightly trying to suppress his pain. </p><p>Finn looked down at Ben and then to Rey, he was confused...he had no idea what had happened but he was in too much shock and worry to even ask. He begrudgingly helped Ben up and started to bring him up to the Falcon, a place where Ben held so many memories from the back of his mind. He always tried to forget about this old thing, his dad would never stop talking about it. It was his pride and joy. </p><p>He noticed Rey had gone unconscious and was set into a cot, covered in a blanket that even Ben thought looked quite cozy. He sat down on the frigid metal floor besides her as he took two Bacta pills to help heal and fix his pain. It was the only meds they had on the ship, of course. Ben slowly began to fall asleep, his head leaned against Rey’s cot. They both we’re gonna need some rest for what was to come.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. What comes next?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Ben and Rey arrive on Ajan Kloss, Rey is dealing with her trauma in her own way and Ben comforts her the best he can.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>After two hours of being half asleep and half awake, Rey finally regained consciousness when she heard Finn and Ben arguing. She rubbed her head and sat up slowly as she winced. Apparently that had been enough to stop the arguing and the two boys ran to her side and started overwhelming her with questions like ‘are you okay? Thank god you’re up and awake’ ‘Do you want me to kick Kylo out? I’ll do it and leave his ass out on Jakku.’ It was all too much. She shook her head and slowly stood up. “Both of you need to just..shut up. Please.” She groaned as she limped to the chess board area where Chewie was playing with himself and somehow managing to cheat at the same time. </p><p>“Chewie, it’s good to see you..” Rey spoke as she sat next to him and smiled and gave him a hug. “The other two won’t stop arguing with each other.” She frowned as Chewie delivered a sarcastic remark as Rey chuckled at him. “When..we get back to the base..I’m going to need some time alone..so if you can keep Ben stable and hidden away from the other members for a few days that would be helpful.” </p><p>Chewie nodded and pat her back as they approached the Resistance base. It was flooded with people celebrating and having fun. Rey felt quite the opposite of cheery. She knew Finn, Poe and Rose would all have liked to go on and party, get drunk on spiked blue milk margaritas but she felt sad and she wasn’t sure why. Maybe it was because she knew that they all had a family to celebrate with. </p><p>Once the odd group got off the ship, Rey started bee-lining past everyone as Chewie followed her with Ben who was confused as to why Rey was feeling so...sad. It was unlike her. Luckily the Bacta pill he had taken had worked wonders and he started to chase after Rey who was long gone in the forest. </p><p>“Rey? Rey are you alright?!” He called out to her, trying to remain calm and not cause any attention towards him. He knew if the people of the resistance saw him they’d be too victorious to let him live peacefully, not that he thought he deserved any kind of welcome home party. This wasn’t home, his mother was gone along with his uncle and father. He had Uncle Lando and Chewie left which made him a lot happier, knowing that they still were there for him. He hadn’t expected for Chewie to welcome him with open arms. </p><p>Rey was making her way to a forest as she angrily started to cut down trees, she knew deep down she wasn’t truly a Jedi, or at least not a pure one. She believe that she could balance the light and the dark, it would be easier to be a grey Jedi. She heard Ben calling after her and walked towards his voice. “Ben..please. You need rest and I need..to figure things out..” she muttered as she rubbed her eyes, she was so exhausted, so utterly upset and she didn’t know why. Why was everyone allowed to be happy and celebrate while she felt the suffering that she’d been accustomed to.</p><p>Ben leaned over her and gently grabbed her arms. “You shouldn’t be out here tearing down trees, y-you /died/, Rey.” He spoke softly. “We lost you..it was the scariest...feeling. I can’t risk losing you again because you decided to waste your energy. Take a break..you deserve it.” He said and placed a kiss on her forehead but Rey pushed away, sure they had kissed but..Rey still felt like she had a lot of unresolved feelings. “You need to go into hiding..just for a few days...and while you’re in hiding..I will rest as you request.” She said quietly.</p><p>“Why..why’re you blocking me out? Not just physically but through the force. You’ve never done that before.”Ben crosses his arms and furrows his brows. He wants to know why she’s acting so...unusual. What had she seen or what had happened while he was in the pit. “Tell me what’s going on.”</p><p>Rey looked down and shook her head as she leaned against a tree and slumped down into the dirt trail. “Ben, my duty by my master was to bring you back to the light. Ive done that, you were right about what you said about me when we killed Snoke. I am nothing..” She whispered as she stared off at the green shrubs and trees. “You still have a family to go back to. My whole family is dead.. you have Lando, Chewie, your numerous cousins who remember you very fondly. I don’t have that. Those people out there aren’t my family other than Finn. Poe tolerates me, I know he doesn’t like me..and Rose well I barely talk to her.” She spoke and grabbed her satchel and opened it. “This was on the transport that my parents were killed on..” she muttered, she opened up a leather bound book, it was dirty and covered in some kind of dust but when it opened a hologram of a tiny baby Rey with her mother and father holding her. </p><p>Ben looked at the photo, her parents had really chosen to live as nobodies but even then they didn’t protect her. They had gave her false hope, they let her starve and be abused by Unkar Plutt. If her parents had cared...they wouldn’t have sent her to Jakku, a wasteland. That angered Ben, not in a Kylo Ren kind of way. He believed she deserved justice. She deserved to have some kind of closure. Her parents had fucked up and in turn made their daughter more fucked up than he initially realized. </p><p>Rey had opened her mind to him again and she was pushing him away because..she was afraid he would leave. Leave like her parents had. Ben understood her fear of abandonment in a way. He slowly slid down next to her and pulled her into a hug as he pet her hair. “It’s okay...shh it’s okay..I’m never leaving..” Ben whispered. It was true, he would never leave her. Sometimes Ben forgot that he was older, he knew how to handle his emotions better than Rey. She was only 20, and she had only ever stepped off the planet she was tied down to roughly two years ago. She had witnessed a lot, he imagined it could have been a sensory overload. He always assumed that Rey was put together, nothing wrong mentally other than missing her parents. </p><p>He was so wrong.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. The Resistance</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>If you enjoyed this leave kudos and comment ! You can follow me on twitter @ Feral_Rey</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Rey found herself in her bunk, she had been resting as per Ben’s request. Finn was the only person who was allowed to see her at the moment, she was fragile and still too weak to be up and about. People had been praising her for ending the war, without her they’d all be star dust. She wished they knew that without Ben Solo they wouldn’t be alive right now. She didn’t tell anyone that she almost took the throne of the Sith..only Ben knew that. She hadn’t seen him in days, by even through the force. Luckily, Chewie was taking good care of him and helping him heal on the Falcon. It was a good hideout as nobody except Finn, Lando , Rose and Poe went on that ship. She just prayed to the maker that Poe and Rose didn’t decide to go on that ship without letting Chewie know. If Poe found out Ben was at the base and staying with them it wouldn’t end well. </p><p>Days had passed since that moment in the forest where Ben had held her close and assured her she was going to be okay. She tried to forget that moment, she would push past whatever funk she was in. She wasn’t weak, she had no time for emotions or crying. Back on Jakku, crying was forbidden...not because it was a sign of weakness but you needed to save the water content in your body as much as you could. Most times Rey would forget that she wasn’t on Jakku anymore, that she didn’t need to starve for days and go without water. The resistance had more than enough food and water, she deprived herself of it as she was still used to not needing as much water as usual. </p><p>Rey felt uneasy, she felt as if something would go wrong. She was right. Poe Dameron has stormed into her bunk with Finn. </p><p>“You have a lot to explain, Rey. Why the hell is that man in the Falcon?! When were you planning on telling us? Did you think you could just hide him there forever?!” Poe yelled as he threw his arms up.Rey felt herself angered that he had stormed into her bunk and the Falcon without anyone’s permission but that was Dameron. </p><p>“Just because Leia made you General doesn’t mean you get to waltz into private places! You’re so difficult! Without Ben Solo we would be dead! All of us! He’s turned and he’s back to the light. Leia would accept him and so should you!” Rey grabbed crutch that she was using for the moment and limped over to them. “He had no choice..he’s been forced to do those things and he had no control. Ben Solo is not the same as Kylo Ren. He force healed me..the same way I healed him...” She whispered the last part softly as she looked up at Poe and Finn with sadness in her eyes. </p><p>Finn slowly walked over to Rey and had her sit down on her bunk while Poe searched for words to say. “Poe, something more has gone on between them..we will not let the resistance know of him until she’s ready to deal with that. She’s been through enough this week. Too much fighting has gone on and I don’t need to see you and her fight anymore than I have to. So just cool down..” Finn said as he placed his hand on his shoulder. “It’s not worth the arguing. She died, Poe. You weren’t there but..she was gone and she risked so much for all of us. She’s human..she’s not invincible..” Finn whispered to Poe and oddly enough Poe put his hands up surrendering and listening to Finn. “Well it’s not me you’re gonna have to worry about telling everyone it’s 3P0 and R2 who are most in shock at the moment...apparently they were present in his life when he was a child.. 3P0 didn’t know Ben is Kylo Ren..”</p><p>“He /was/ Kylo Ren...not anymore.” Rey spoke as she stood up once again. “I should probably go to the Falcon to see how Ben is healing anyways.. he’s the one who got more damage done..” Rey said as she pushed past the two men and started limping to the Falcon but Finn stopped her. </p><p>“Rey, you don’t have to do this.” He speaks so softly that Rey stops in her tracks. She raises a brow and leaned against the railing. “I know you’re..trying to pretend like you’re okay but I don’t think you realize all your body has been through, you died and I hate to agree with Solo on this one but he was right when he told you to rest..I’ll stay here and keep you company if that’s what you need.”</p><p>Rey nods her head and began to limp back to her bed, finally letting herself feel exhausted without feeling too bad. She would just have to see Ben another day.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Kylo Ren VS The Resistance</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The resistance knows of Ben Solo. Ben struggles to tell the resistance they can trust him and when he seeks Rey’s help she tells him he has to do this on his own. Reylo fluff ensues</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Apparently Kylo Ren had hurt a lot of people. Who woulda known? Zay Versio was one of those people. Rose Tico was one of those people. Poe Dameron was one of those people. Finn was one of those people. So when 3P0 had blurted out that Kylo Ren was on the Falcon people started to get rowdy. Zay Versio being the first person to order for him to be exiled, somewhere horrible and cold like Hoth. Rose Tico was angered at Kylo Ren for Paige, her sisters death and wished that he would understand the pain of losing a loved one. Poe Dameron hated Kylo Ren because of the torture he had put him through. Finn hated Kylo Ren because he always watched and cleaned after his unnecessary fits of rage and get away with it while the troopers had been stolen from their families to be programmed to kill without a damn say in it. </p><p>Kylo Ren hadn’t been a good man, causing the death of many innocents for his war. Kylo had also been infected with voices in his head tainting his heart of gold. Leia had felt her son’s darkness before he was even born, something evil had been preying upon him. Han was so Han about it that he dismissed Leia’s feelings for just paranoia. Kylo had been groomed and hurt for years, being used as a vessel for power. He had wanted to achieve what his grandfather had almost done, what he had worked so hard for. In the end it wasn’t Kylo who did what his grandfather wanted but it was Ben Solo. </p><p>Ben Solo had once saved an entire cage of rare crystal blue butterflies. Ben Solo had been able to make strangers on the street smile and laugh.<br/>
Ben Solo had helped his best friend Tai Master his force abilities. Ben Solo had saved the one he loved from dying. Something Anakin Skywalker had hoped to achieve when he went to the dark side. Ben Solo had killed his master to save the girl he loved. In the end he wished he had taken her hand that day in the Throne Room. </p><p>He thought about Rey often, maybe too often. Some would say obsessed but he begged to differ. He had even had a specific admiral who’s duties were just to find out about Rey’s whereabouts. He constantly thought of if she had taken his hand or vice versa. It all ended happily in his head no matter what. He would hold her, kiss her again, he needed to feel her lips again. He didn’t know how to even bring up the kiss again. He also didn’t know if he’d be tried for his crimes even though without him they would have all died. He knew the resistance members would still disregard him and make him feel like he’d never be able to move past Kylo Ren.</p><p> </p><p>“Have him come outside and face the resistance! He’s not so bad anymore huh? Who even decided to bring him here? Who thought that was a good idea?!” Zay shouted over the crowd near the Falcon. “He’s the main reason both my parents are dead!” She yelled. Suddenly the Falcon door opened. </p><p>“And your parents also killed a lot of families as well as Iden Versio had been the leader of inferno squad back when the Empire was at its highest power. And your grandfather too was apart of the Empire but surely I am an irredeemable asshole?”<br/>
Ben muttered as he limped down the ramp. The people often didn’t see Kylo Ren without his mask off. To see Ben Solo in Just normal black clothing all bruised and battered was weird for the resistance. He looked weak. “You all can hate me, I deserve that and so much more but..I’m the only person you have left who was in high enough command to know every detail about the First Order..” </p><p>“Why should we trust what you say?” Rose walked up as she looked up at the brooding man. “Are we expected to let you just take the reigns?”</p><p>“God of course not, Poe Dameron and 2187...I mean Finn are still the generals. Apparently my mother thought that was a good idea.” He said as he rubbed his head. “We’re going to need a crew of pilots sent out to the Lothal, Coruscant and Corellia those are the last bases. Any admirals, generals and high ranking officers would be there..”</p><p>“What if this is a trap..how can we ensure that you are indeed telling us the truth and not planning to kill us all with troops when we arrive?” One of the Resistance members asked as they crossed their arms. </p><p>“I’m not- I’m not trying to kill you all I’m trying to help. If I had wanted to kill you all don’t you think you’d be obliterated by now?” He scoffed and crossed his arms. “I’m trying to help..but if you don’t want it that’s fine.” He shrugged. </p><p>The resistance members looked amongst each other not knowing whether or not to believe him. It was a tricky situation and even their own Generals didn’t know what to believe. There was only one person who could vouch that Ben was good and not going to betray them and that was Rey. Ben knew he had to see her, he had to get her tell them he was good. Ben started making his way to Rey’s bunk, knocking before entering with his eyes closed in case she was getting dressed or something but found that she was sitting on her bunk reading ancient Jedi texts. </p><p>“Oh..I wasn’t expecting you. You look a lot better than last week..the Bacta really healed you up.” Rey was making small talk, ignoring their connection between them.<br/>
“Yeah..yeah I’m okay. But are you ya know...okay?” He asked<br/>
“Perfectly fine.” She mustered up a smile. “Did you need something?” She grabbed her water on the nightstand and started to sip on it.<br/>
“Well yeah, the resistance they don’t trust me..” He gives her a look as if this is a surprise.<br/>
Rey nearly spits out her water from holding in laughter. “Well..well of course not, Ben. They all have quarrels with you to be fair. Did you expect them..to immediately trust you?”</p><p>“No!” He says defensively and puts his arms up. “But I expected them to at least somewhat trust your word about me. You have told them..what happened right? How you killed your grandfather and how I healed you? How Ive decided to join the right side and came back to the light?”</p><p>Rey gave him a puzzled look, was she meant to have told everyone? She only told Finn and Poe he had healed her and only Finn knew she was the Emperor’s granddaughter. “Why...would I tell them? I’m not trying to get a medal or be a war hero here. They don’t even know I’m his granddaughter..” She shrugged.</p><p>“You have to tell them..they’ll trust your word over mine!” He exclaimed. Rey hadn’t known reputation was an important thing to him but she forgot that..he was Han and Leia’s son. He had the conceited-ness and delusions of grandeur from Han and the fiery passion from Leia. </p><p>Rey stood up and patted him on the back. “This is your own battle, Ben. Not mine. I can’t /make/ then trust you. You have to do that yourself and not through words. Actions always speak louder than words.” She spoke as she set her Jedi texts in her drawer. “I can’t tell everyone who I am..I’d just..rather not do that right now. When the republic is built again they will see me as a threat..not only am I a woman with great power on my own but I’m a woman with an insane mans blood. They’ll hold that to account, of course they’ll say I’m powerful because of my grandfather, that I have his power but I don’t. My power came from me. Force sensitivity isn’t passed through genetics...” She sighed as she realized how dumb people could be. “I can’t tell them and neither can you. It’s different for you, Ben. Your struggles will not be the same as mine.” Rey walks over to her small mirror and lets down her hair, it was messy and knotted and quite greasy, she began to comb through it with her fingers, not owning a brush. </p><p>Ben day there complicity as he thought about what Rey had said to him. He realized how ridiculous he sounded to ask her to go and tell everyone to trust Ben. He didn’t even know why he thought that would work. He was smarter than this and he knew that, he had no idea why he’d been acting so helpless without Rey lately. He noticed her hair and stood up. “You know if you used shampoo and got a brush your hair wouldn’t get as knotted and greasy.” </p><p>Rey rolls her eyes and turns to him. “Some of us grew up not having those luxuries..” She muttered. “Plus what’s wrong with greasy hair? It’s gonna be put back up anyways.”</p><p>Ben chuckles softly and shakes his head, grabbing one of the hair bands of rom Rey’s wrist. He took her hair and started braiding it. “My mom taught me how to do this.” He says, making his final twist with the hair tie. “This puts less stress on your hair when it’s not in a tight bun.”</p><p>“Why do you know so much about hair care?” Rey asks and laughs as she turns to him. She sees him smiling and looking down at her. It causes her to feel her face warm up and get all pink. </p><p>“I’ve gotta keep these precious locks looking fresh everyday, Rey.” He laughs as he watches the most beautiful woman he’s laid eyes on giggle along with him and blush. He knows she loves him and he loves her back more than anything. He knows her better than anyone and yet neither of them know how to make the move or make it official.<br/>
“Seriously though my mom taught me how to braid hair very young and using shampoo is what every other being in this galaxy does for their hair.”</p><p>“Well maybe I will invest in shampoo and not just run hot water down my hair without the shampoo.” She laughed and looks up into his eyes. “Look, I’ll talk to some people...and see what I can say to make people a little less worrisome about your presence but still..you have to prove to them that you’re on our side.” She says and smiles. “Why don’t I go and get us dinner and we..can talk and eat here in my bunk?”</p><p>“Is that a date, Rey?” He asks and smirks.</p><p>“I’ll consider it one if you do..” she smirks back and kisses his cheek before leaving. </p><p>For once, Ben Solo is so sure that Kylo Ren is gone for good.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thanks for reading! Leave a Kudos and comment! My Twitter is @Reys_Saber</p><p>Anyone have any theories on what might happen in this story? Any suggestions?</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Convincing Dates</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Rey realizes the resistance is hypocritical and has a dinner date with Ben Solo</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Rey knew she had to calm everyone’s nerves about Ben. She couldn’t make them trust or forgive him but she could make them feel a little safer by clearing things up. She’s making her way down to the canteen while she see’s the frantic looks on everyone around her. “Alright everybody! Can I please have your attention for a moment!” She said as she brings everyone to the canteen to sit down. </p><p>“Yes Ben Solo has been here with us. He’s been with us on Ajan Kloss for about two weeks. Without him we really would be in a lot of trouble. What happened when I killed the Emperor was not a one person thing. Ben helped me reach that, he was the one who stopped me from doing some questionable things..” she speaks not quietly but almost as if she is anxious about speaking out loud about this. She fears that they won’t accept him. They had accepted others who had betrayed the First Order. She knew for them the war was personal..they all had some vendetta against all the people in the higher rankings as they were the one who ultimately made the choice to kill innocents and Rey thought it was quite hypocritical of them to act as if they also hadn’t killed innocents. They knew all those stormtroopers had been brainwashed and kidnapped from birth. Rey was understanding the hypocrisy of war. In the end war wasn’t about peace...everyone wanted the power.</p><p>“Kylo Ren...did terrible things..but Ben Solo is a different man. Everyone though his choice was made and it wasn’t. My mission from my master Leia Organa who has passed was to bring Ben back home...I have done that. I would hope that you will treat him as Leia would have expected. There’s light in him and he’s telling the truth about where those bases are headed. If we don’t get on that soon the Order will grow again. So let’s get to that after dinner alright?!” She said and looked over at Poe. “Was that okay? I didn’t sound like..an arse right?” She asked quietly. </p><p>“No you didn’t. You did good up there, Rey.” He pats her back which leaves her shocked. That was the friendliest interaction they had had in a while. The war had put a strain on both of them mentally. </p><p>_____________________________________________________</p><p>“And then I realized that the resistance is bad as well!” Rey exclaims as she eats her dinner on the floor of her bunk while Ben sits and listens to her as he watches her wolf down her meal. The girl could eat at a rapid speed. </p><p>“Well what..made you think that?” He asked as he examined her face, it was adorable when she was frustrated or enraged. </p><p>“It’s all about power, they don’t care about peace. It’s all corrupt. Your mother cared about peace..she was the one who held us together but now with her gone and all the great generals were left with a bunch of arses who like blowing stuff up!” She covers her mouth, she didn’t expect herself to even say such things. “I’m sorry..it’s frustrating when they’re hypocritical..”</p><p>“I understand..” He says as he smiles at her as she talks. “Look..I killed a lot of people. I’ve hurt many more but if you saw the data pad back from the starkiller base years ago...The Resistance has a high killing rate than the First Order. Mostly because they were being funded from the republic. When we got rid of that we got rid of the funding for the resistance which is around when you were...discovered I guess.” He shrugged and sipped his water. </p><p>Rey nodded, deciding to not speak about the topic anymore. She rubbed her head and looked at him. “We need to get you a bunk...” She says as she yawns and stretches her arms out after setting her plate down on the floor. “I know sleeping in the Falcon isn’t comfortable. I’ve definitely slept on that cot many nights.”</p><p>“Why don’t I just bunk with you?” </p><p>Rey stops and her heart was thudding out of her chest. Them? Sleep in the same room together, surely it was a 2 bunk room and Rey didn’t have roommates as most of them had died in the war. <br/>She clears her throat and tilts her head as she looks at him.  “Um- are you sure? I snore..loudly..I’m an early bird and a night owl I’m usually up reading or something and I wouldn’t want to disturb you-“</p><p>“None of that matters to me..I wake up early and sleep later as well...I’m usually writing or figuring out how to make ships be more efficient and faster anyways..”</p><p>Damnit, she wasn’t sure how to handle sharing a room with Ben Solo. She didn’t hate him, quite the opposite. She was in love with him and at the moment they were friends..who were just casually on a date and kissed once. Surely Ben didn’t feel the same way? Had he? He had kissed her forehead multiple times and called her sweetheart. </p><p>“Rey..are you okay? you’re kinda pale..” he whispers and waves his hand at her face and she suddenly snapped out of it and grabbed his hand and bit it. </p><p>“Jesus Christ Rey!”</p><p>“Oh my god I’m sorry it’s like..my instincts from Jakku and you startled me!” She said with genuine concern for his hand but he was laughing. She had never heard that man laugh. His laugh made her smile and then made her laugh hysterically as she rolled on the floor laughing with him. “I can’t believe I just bit you!”</p><p> </p><p>“Don’t worry about it, I’m fine. I’ve faced worse than a feral scavenger from Jakku.” He said as he grabbed her hand softly and pulled her to look at him.</p><p>Rey sighs heavily as she’s calmed down from the laughing, she feels Ben grab her hand and pull her to him, he’s looking in her eyes and she does the same. Her hazel eyes flutter a bit as she pulls him in for a kiss, soft and less contained, it’s messy and perfect in everyway.</p><p>“So I guess I can bunk with you?” </p><p>“Of course you can, Solo..” She says as their lips part and their left with their thoughts. Rey chuckles a bit as she blushes and watches Ben do the same.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m gonna go take a shower. Look, Rose got me some shampoo! Like you were saying earlier I’ll try it out!” She says excitedly before running to the refresher.</p><p>Ben is left on the floor, stunned from the kiss. He was not regretting a single thing, he would never regret anything when it came to her. He was willing to give his whole self to her.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Leave kudos and comments below! Any suggestions or theories you have?</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. The Mission of the New Republic</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>We take a time skip to a few months forward after the Resistance has disbanded to become the New Republic. Senators have not been picked, and a group mission to Hoth is being conducted by a man named Cardina Wingfet, Poe, Finn, Rose, Ben, Rey and Kaydel all go on said mission to find an energy source that can help lift other planets back from the tragedy of the war. Instead they get lodged into deep shit during the mission.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>TW// Alcoholism, violent depictions of violence and murder<br/>Rey and Ben aren’t...really together like they’re in love but they’re sticking to best friendship kinda?<br/>Anyways you can follow my Twitter @ Feral_Rey</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“It’s unfair! I should be leading this mission. I’m the one who was able to track down the source of the power!” Ben exclaimed as he began pacing around him and Rey’s bunk. Moving in had been quite easy, they found that neither of them got in each other’s way. </p><p>“Cardina Wingfet was nice enough to let us all go on this mission together. It shouldn’t be too dangerous and besides you have led quite a few missions with Poe already. Cardina is well equipped as he used to work for the rebels on Hoth back during the Empire era.”</p><p>Ben rolls his eyes playfully and crossed his arms. “I’m not very handy without a saber..” he sighed. “I’ve got this blaster and my dashing good looks.” </p><p>Rey nudges him. “And that pairing seems to be working wonders for you.” She laughs as she rummages through clothing, she’s realizing she has nothing to wear that can handle the frigid temperature of Hoth. Starkiller base had been freezing and she couldn’t have handled it if it wasn’t for that adrenaline she had that night but this was different. They would be there for days.</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t think I can even go I have nothing to keep me warm..” she says and sighs. Ben looks up and for a moment he forgot that she was from Jakku, cold temperatures weren’t her thing, she was always cold even on Ajan Kloss while Ben was always hot. It worked well as she always pulled the blankets from him. They had pushed their bunks together...because why not. They agreed it wasn’t anything romantic it just...felt nice. Sometimes on nights where Ben would have nightmares She was able to hold him and Ben swears that she’s the only thing to calm him down from that. </p><p>“I think I have some stuff..come with me.” He says as he grabs her hand and brings her to Leia’s old quarters where everything had remained preserved. Ben appreciated the royal like room staying as his mom had kept it. His mom had been quite the fashion icon and Ben knew about fashion. Digging through her closet he found a few old outfits his mother had worn during the days of the rebels. “Here..take these. It’s insulated, keeps you warm. They should fit you just fine..” He smiles and Rey slowly grabs the heaps of white clothing. “You’re mother liked the color white a lot huh?” She chuckled.</p><p>“I think she wore it because subconsciously she was the light in the darkness. She was like her mother. I’ve seen her mother before in my dreams, never my grandfather but she’s always there watching..”</p><p> </p><p>“Thank you, Ben you didn’t really need to ya know give me your mother’s clothing. I appreciate it...” She murmurs as she touches the fabric, it’s so soft, it’s a pants suit, boots, and vest. They look incredibly warm. Rey had never though of clothing as being luxurious she didn’t realize for some people it was important to care about looks, that wasn’t Rey. </p><p>“It’s not a problem. Get ready we’re leaving soon and I’m not sure if Cardina is a patient man.” He chuckles before leaving her alone in the quarters to let her get dressed. After she’s done getting ready the crew heads onto the Falcon, it’s big enough for the whole gang to fit in along with BB-8 and C3P0.</p><p>Poe got into the pilots seat and Ben shook his head. “Uh uh- nope no way..not with the way you’re known to fly.” </p><p>“What do you mean? I’m the best pilot we’ve got here. I’m flying her for this mission.”</p><p>“Like hell you are! Rey told me you light speed skipped when the compressor was down again! This ship is gonna fall apart if you keep treating it like it’s some play doll...it’s the one thing I have left alright?” Ben is angered and everyone seems to realize that so they back out of the cockpit and Rey rubs Bens back as Finn, Rose and Kaydel give them a ‘look’ as if they were suspicious of what was goin on between Ben and Rey.</p><p>Poe puts his hands up. “Alright alright...you fly I’ll co-pilot.”</p><p>“Actually I would like..to Co-pilot today..” Rey speaks up and looks at Poe.</p><p>Poe looks at Ben and then to Rey and squints his eyes. “You two are...you’re somethin alright.” He says as he walks out the cockpit. </p><p>Rey chuckled and sat down in the seat. “Are you ready to go?” She asked as she started pushing buttons ( I have no idea how that shit works ) </p><p>“As ready as I’ll ever be.” He says as he starts the ship and smiles back at.</p><p> </p><p>Soon enough they’re on Hoth and even though it was quite the journey, Ben was happy piloting the Falcon. When he was a young boy his dream was to be the best pilot in the galaxy like his father. He never wanted to be a Jedi but..his powers were too strong and he needed the Jedi training to help him learn to control it. How wrong they had been to send him there but that was the past and things were looking up for him. </p><p> </p><p>Hoth was freezing, nearly unbearable at least for Rey. Everyone around her seemed to be cold but bundled up. Rey was shivering the moment they stepped foot, her body wasn’t okay with below 10 degrees. “Alright the source of power should be headed down south of here, it’s in some mountain of sorts. It’s where one of the clone troopers outposts used to be!” Ben says as he pulls the shivering Rey close to keep her warm.</p><p>“Be wary of any living being around here, not that they’re outwardly violent but they are not used to people inhabiting this planet the population is low!” Rey told them as they all began to travel down south. </p><p>Finn and Poe were walking together. Cardina wingafet looked at Ben and sighed. “Look, this isn’t your mission to run. Let me handle things and if we see any Wampas out here my blaster is going to be the first thing to fire. They’re outright dangerous I don’t care about preserving the life on here..” He says bitterly before he walks away from Rey and Ben. Ben clenches his fists tightly as he feels a rage burning up inside of him. “He has no right to talk to me that way..does he not know who I am? Who I used to be?” He growls lowly. Rey pats his back. </p><p>“I’m going to need you to calm down there, buddy. Can’t go all Kylo Ren on him, he’s a waste of your energy anyways.” Poe whispers to him. “Plus I was starting to tolerate and like you so don’t go ruining that.” </p><p>Ben scoffs as he catches up with the rest of the group. Rose is scanning the area with Kaydel who is shivering. “Jesus why would they have an outpost here? There’s nothing here anyways.”</p><p> </p><p>“Most people who live here are apart of tribes...very impenetrable tribes. They were in alliance with the Resistance. Snoke had ordered me once to try to get them to be with the First Order, I’m telling you that those tribes were tough to get through. I gave up in the end a group of 20 or 30 people were not worth my time. They were at peace I wasn’t going to ruin the small amount of peace left here.”</p><p> </p><p>“Who knew you could be so kind as to let them live.” Finn says to him sarcastically as he puts an arm around Rey, trying to keep her warm. </p><p>“You’d be surprised at how many lives I saved to try to keep the body count at a low rate, we never carried innocents on our ships. Whoever was on any of our bases were willing to die for the First Order. You guys have a larger body count. If anything General Hux was the one who conducted that kind of stuff not me. It was only towards the last two years of the war that I started taking commands.” He shrugged. “Rey are you alright?” He raises his eyebrow and turns to her.</p><p>“It’s bloody cold, mate! No I’m not okay!” Shes shivering and her lips are purple. </p><p>“Stop! Everyone stop! We need to find a cave to get into..somewhere warmer..we’ve been walking for a while and we can set up camp in one of the mountains.” He was worried about Rey and they really all seemed exhausted. </p><p>Cardina Wingfet shook his head. “We can’t setup camp! Why would we stop now because she’s cold? Have I reminded you that you’re not the one leading this mission here, Solo? So much like you’re father..” Cardina says and rolls his eyes. </p><p>Ben stops when he hears the comparison to his father. He walks up to him slowly. “What did you just say?”</p><p>“I said you were acting liking your father.”</p><p>“Do not compare me to my father! I am not like my father!”</p><p>“You’re soooo are like your father and you’re like your mother.” Kaydel says. “It’s not a bad thing, they were war heroes.”</p><p>Ben looks at Kaydel and his fists clench and he continues to walk. “Were setting up camp. It’s getting dark out anyways and Rey isn’t feeling well. Cardina you’re welcome to stay for camp but if you wanna freeze to death and deal with the wampas alone then continue on.” </p><p>Cardina rolled his eyes, contemplating continuing on. He sighed as he watched the three suns go down. “Fine but once we wake up in the morning we’re leaving. I’ll start getting stuff out for a fire.” </p><p>Cardin Wingfet had been an older man amongst the group, a boomer you could say. None of the group liked him, they had each had personal vendettas. He was a bit of an alcoholic and somehow managed to be at the top of his rankings.</p><p>The group sat down and started to set up camp in some cave where it was at least quieter and warmer then out in the blizzard. Rey sat down as she shivered softly and started to shake. Ben was extremely worried at the moment. He had seen what she looked like lifeless, at the moment she looked exactly how she had on Exegol. Ben never told Rey or let her know through the force that his nightmares were always about losing her on Exegol. So he was worried about her, it was making him feel irrational. He couldn’t stand to watch her freeze. He unzipped his jacket and put her on his side and zipped it back ups as much as he could, Ben was a wide man so Rey didn’t take up much space. Rose, Finn and Kaydel took off their gloves and put their hands above the fire that Cardina had made. Rey stuck her hands out and smiled at the warmth from Ben’s body and jacket and the fire. </p><p>“This is much better.” She says. She slowly lets herself be embraced by his big arms. She could sense the group thought that was weird for two friends to be doing. </p><p>Rey tells herself that she is not in love with Ben Solo. She just wasn’t alone anymore and it was a nice feeling. She’d be lying if she didn’t say she appreciated his presence. </p><p>Poe sighed as he looked at everyone. “Alright let’s play some truth or dare.” He rubs his hands and smiled. Ben rolled his eyes and let his head lay on top of Reys. </p><p>“You kids play you’re stupid game.” Cardina says and got into his tent. </p><p>Poe stretched his arm out to Finn. “Nah Cardina ya owe me one so sit in for this game. You’ll go first. Truth or dare.”</p><p>“Dare.” He says it begrudgingly.</p><p>“Dare ya to drink this whole flask of Coruscant 100 year whiskey.” Poe says and hands it to him. </p><p>Cardina laughs. “That’s nothin’" Cardina drinks down the whole flask and goes to his sleeping bag. </p><p>The game of truth or dare ends rather quickly, everyone is too exhausted and Ben thought it was a stupid game, Rey had fallen asleep and he couldn’t stop staring at her. He had one of his hands on hers as they were clasped together. Ben is perfectly fine sleeping in an upright position as long as she’s happy, he’s happy. </p><p>———————————————————————</p><p>The night doesn’t go quick enough, not for what was to happen next. Ben was awoken in the middle of the night hearing a rustle, he heard something but he figured it had been the wind. Ben slept for a few more hours. Finn woke up in the early morning and went outside the cave to check to see if the weather had cleared up, it hadn’t. Finn began to walk before stepping on something and tripping over it. When he got up he saw the frozen body of Cardina bloodied and and wounded with a shot through his head. Finn ran inside the cave, wakening everyone up. “H-he’s dead! He’s fucking dead!” </p><p>Kaydel wakes up first. “What?! W-what who’s dead?!” </p><p>Rose is second. “What-What are you talking about. She gets up and walks to Finn. She notices that Cardina isn’t in his sleeping bag. “He’s dead?! How?”</p><p>Rey, Ben and Poe arise now frantic to the news. They all get ready and walk outside to look at their Leaders body. It’s mostly buried by snow at this point. Everyone knows he’s been murdered and everyone is afraid to say it out loud. They walk back and Kaydel sets the fire as they look down. </p><p>Poe is first to speak, he always has to speak first. “It was you wasn’t it?” He points to Solo and everyone looks at him.</p><p>“I’m sorry what?”</p><p>“You’re the only person here capable of doing that kinda thing cause I know surely that none of use would have done it.” Poe says.</p><p>Kaydel looks at him and points a stick at him. “You don’t have a saber with you so you used your blaster.” She then points to his blaster on his hip. </p><p>Ben rolls his eyes as he watches everyone look at him like he was a monster. </p><p>Rey interjects. “Ben wouldn’t kill him..”</p><p>Ben stands up and begins pacing. “Fine you want a murderer? Let’s look at the facts. I think it’s pretty safe to say and we can probably agree and if you don’t then shut up...that anyone who met Wingfet could’ve killed him easily. His views on everything were dated and awful.” He looks at Poe and Finn who are clasping hands. </p><p>Finn sighed. “You can’t think Poe or I did something with this did you?  </p><p>“Lovers quarrel with you two?” He raises an eyebrow and smirks. </p><p>“Be really Kylo if I killed someone it woulda been you.”</p><p>“Touché but maybe you’re not done and I’m the next to go?”</p><p>“Bro why would I have waited?!” </p><p>“Cause I don’t fucking know!”</p><p>Rey sighs and shakes her head. “I already was passed out from possible hypothermia last night so I think I’m out of the running.”</p><p>“Unless...” Poe says. “You told us you were feeling sick to throw us off your track.”</p><p>“Are you serious right now?” Ben says angrily and looks at him. “She isn’t well right now you idiot!” </p><p>Rose looks at Poe and crossed her arms. “Last I heard the final word from you and Kaydel it was that the maker would take his life away for how shitty he was..” she tilted her head and smirked.<br/>
“Isn’t that right Kaydel?” </p><p>“I never said that the force would kill him but he made choices on his own?”</p><p>“So Cardina died cause he’s a drunk and he deserved it?!”</p><p>“I don’t know!”</p><p>“But Kaydel never hated Cardina that much!” Finn says in defense.” </p><p>Ben looks at Poe. “But Poe you got Cardina drunk?”</p><p>“It was for fun it was a dare!” Poe exclaims.</p><p>“Well let’s go see how fun and drunk he is now!” Ben yells as Rey covers her ears. </p><p> </p><p>“Ben I don’t  know if we can trust you we all saw it clear as day, Cardina was leading and you would do anything to lead this mission to get recognition!” </p><p>“Anything like kill him?!” Ben looks at all of them angrily, his fists clenching. “Alright I’ll Go ahead and say I’d rather have him walking and leading this mission than /dead/..” </p><p>“Like Ren cares about someone!” He scoffed. “He wouldn’t spare Cardinas life!” </p><p>“That’s not fair to say, Traitor.” </p><p>“Name one person you like!” Finn yells back.</p><p>“Rey...” Rose mutters and looks at Ben. Everyone looks at her. “You’re in love with Rey so you killed Cardina for all the times he was an asshole to her!” </p><p>Rey shook her head and laughed as she sat down on the floor and looked at Ben. “Rose I don’t think you’re making sense.” </p><p>“Look I don’t know what you’ve been misjudging here but I’ve got to take Rey’s side.”</p><p>“We are /not/ together!” Rey and Ben screamed at the same time.</p><p>“Or you’ve been together this whole time!” Finn says and walks past the fire. “Since the beginning Rey was always defending you!”</p><p>Ben rubbed his head and sighed. “Rey is right! Were wasting time there’s nothing we can do! This is crazy you’ve all lost it have fun with this psycho mess hope you find your killer assholes!” Ben yells and leaves the cave.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Revelations</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hope you enjoy! My writing isn’t the best rn cause I’m in a slump but I’m enjoying writing this a lot anyways! Leave Kudos and suggestions or theories you have. Also how would you guys feel if I gave a character a sibling they never knew about?</p><p>Also do you guys prefer shorter chapters like these or longer chapters ?</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Rey has been sitting down on the floor of the cave, watching Ben scream and leave everyone. Rey went out side chasing after him. “Ben! Ben!” She called out to him. “Please..come back inside! It’s too cold for you to do this!” She reached her arm out to him. She stops and looks around. She feels like she’s being watched and Ben can feel it too. “Ben..are you sure we cleared out all First Order bases? Are you sure it’s possible one of them would’ve been stationed here on Hoth?”</p><p>“No..no I would have known about it unless...Hux.” He muttered. “He was the spy..the mole in the First Order. If he had had any bases left he wouldn’t have told me." He crosses his arms and shakes his head. “Look I’m going to examine his body, Rey and see what actually happened because I don’t think anyone with us did that..”</p><p>Rey walks over to where the body is and she notices some of the nicer medals that Cardina had had on his jacket was gone. She also noticed that any valuables on him were gone. “A scavenger..” She said softly.</p><p>“You think a scavenger did this?”</p><p>“Why not? I certainly have come close. Listen when you’re starving and dying of thirst you’ll do anything. I wouldn’t expect you to understand that lifestyle.” Rey mutters and covers his body back up with some snow. She made a little marker for him with some metal rods nearby.</p><p>“What do you mean I wouldn’t understand?” His eyebrow perks up and he’s examining her tone of voice. He looks at her and notices her face is red from the cold. “Nevermind we need to call this mission off for the moment and get you back to Ajan Kloss.” He says and grabs her arms and directs her to the cave. </p><p>Dameron is sitting there, resting his head against Finn’s shoulder, he’s exhausted by everything. “Wasn’t sure if you would come back, got scared you might have killed Rey.” He huffed. </p><p>“If he wanted to kill me he would’ve done that a long time ago.” Rey says and rolls her eyes at him. “Look lets just...go to the outpost with the power so we can get it turned on and so we can help others who are in need. Finn, Poe and Ben you three are going to go south west outpost while Me, Kaydel and Rose will head to the south outpost. When we both arrive we communicate and turn the power on at the same time got it? There’s Republic crew in the closest arctic village nearby who are using the energy to be put into power converters...”</p><p>Ben grabbed onto Rey’s hand and turned her to face him. “Wait you expect me to tolerate them without you around? You know I can’t deal with Poe well.” Ben says. “Why can’t me and you just go and they go to the south west outpost.”</p><p>“Because you should bond with them a little and work on having more friends. Kaydel and Rose already like you especially Kaydel since you braided her hair like Leia used to do for her.”</p><p>“Well I am well taught in that skill. I’ll go but...promise me you’ll be safe. If you run into any danger just..well you know our way of contacting each other.” He said and keeps his hands held tight onto her. He couldn’t lose her, he realized he had been a bit protective of her as of late but ever since they started doing missions for the republic she had been risking a lot for people who didn’t give a damn about her. Where were those people when she was starving and dying of thirst when she was just a child. He wonders if he could have done something to help her out. The people of the republic had been terrible to her, they hadn’t done her justice and here she was saving so many lives for them. How could someone be so selfless?</p><p>“I’m not as selfless as you think.” She crosses her arms and looks up at him.</p><p>“I didn’t say you were?”</p><p>“I can hear your thoughts right now, Solo. There’s no danger on this mission. I promise I’ll be alright..”she notices everyone has moved out of the cave. They’re alone, just for a moment. Rey smiles at him and rubs his arm to reassure him that she wouldn’t die without him being close to her. </p><p>Ben is watching Rey with close eyes. She rubs his arm and he just softly smiles at her. Before she can leave he grabs her and kisses her softly on the lips, having to pull her up a bit considering his height. He feels Rey kiss back, he’s holding her neck and cradling her head close to him. Ben has been wanting to tell her how he feels.</p><p>“Ben.. if we hadn’t made a vow..” She whispers, they had made a vow to just stay friends. There was no need to get distracted by emotions while they were restoring peace. </p><p>“I would love you completely..” He whispers as he cusps his hands on her face. He rubs her cheek with his thumb. “Please..you feel something for me I know it. Stop denying it...”</p><p>“Ben we can’t..we promised each other that we wouldn’t. We have a mission to do..” she walks away from him and leaves with Kaydel and Rose. </p><p>Ben watches her walk away and leaving him alone for the fourth time in his life.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. The Three Times</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>TW// PTSD, bad mental health in general, obsessive behavior</p>
<p>Enjoy and leave kudos !</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>There were three times Ben remembers of Rey leaving him. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>STARKILLER BASE</p>
<p> He had offered to train her, for her to become his apprentice. She had been so strong with the force and he knew she was perfect to train. She had already done well with melee attacks as he figured she had to use it quite often scavenging on Jakku. He remembers when she took the legacy saber from the snow. He knew for sure that she had been the one to cause a disturbance in the force. </p>
<p>You need a teacher! I can show you the ways of the force </p>
<p>He remembers vividly how she had used to force to regain strength and defeat him and hold him off long enough to escape. She had given him a nasty gash in the face as well.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>THE BATTLE OF CRAIT</p>
<p>Ben can remember how he felt once he killed Snoke. He reveled in that freeing feeling. It was short lived when he realized that Rey expected him to turn. How could she just expect him to go back and face his mother like that? No, she had been meant to join him not the other way around. They would start something new and better than anything before. He had offered her the galaxy and how had that not been enough? He knows now that in the end she didn’t want power or the galaxy in her hands but just Ben. He still wonders what life would have been like if she had joined him in making a new order. </p>
<p>You have no place in this story you come from nothing you’re nothing...but not to me. </p>
<p>EXEGOL</p>
<p>Ben remembers his new motivation in life when he realized that Rey had almost taken the throne of the Sith. He had arrived on time and luckily had opened a force bond with her. He remembers his rib cage crushed as the Emperor threw him down a deep hole. He remembers hearing and feeling the pain of Rey as their life force was being extracted from the both of them.</p>
<p>He was prepared to die, if he had died then good, he deserved it. The pure fear and pain he was feeling off of Rey is what makes him use some of his skills he got from training with Snoke. He remembers Snoke pushing him off deep holes with spikes at the bottom, to test his force abilities. He used his fears to stop the fall. It would take a while before getting to the top but he had to get to Rey before it was too late.</p>
<p>He remembers finally reaching the top of the pit to see her laying on the ground as the planet slowly crumbled into itself. Palpatine was no more and it seemed Rey was no more as well. He stumbled to her, falling and in pain but nothing had prepared him for the pain when he realized she had no pulse. He remembers how cold her body had been and how her eyes were fogged by death. How could someone so selfless die? It didn’t make sense and it was unfair. His love died too soon and when he grabs her hand it’s too late now he regrets not taking her hand sooner. She had shown him the light, shown him it’s worth fighting for the people you love. She had been alone just like him and she had died alone. He knew that had been her greatest fear, to die alone and he had failed her. Rey had left him and he had no idea what to do with his life now she was gone. There was no drive, no motivation, no emotion. Ben made the decision to try and heal her enough to bring her back. Whatever he did had worked enough because she was in front of him alive and kissing him.</p>
<p>PRESENT</p>
<p>Ben can’t handle watching her leave even if it’s for maybe a few hours. He always hated watching her leave, hated how he didn’t know what she was up to and if she was okay or not. Sometimes the force wouldn’t open up between them and it made him extremely anxious. </p>
<p>One time on Ajan Kloss she had gone with Finn to some planet on a mission and when he couldn’t feel her force signature he had a panic attack, reliving the moment he lost her on Exegol over and over again. When Rey had finally arrived back home from that mission she found that their bunk had been destroyed by his rage and anger, something he was really trying to work hard on. Ben thought nobody else really valued Rey as much as he had, he didn’t think that the Resistance nor the new republic had realized she was more than just a symbol of hope. </p>
<p>She was Rey and that’s all she had to be when around Ben. Rey had to calm down Ben after his meltdown. She never really took account that his mental health had never been steady even as a young boy she was able to see his anxieties and anger issues. </p>
<p>Ben tried his best to keep himself composed but he truly did not want to see her leave.</p>
<p>What if she doesn’t come back? </p>
<p>He breathes out quickly as he grabs his bag and heads to the South West outpost with Finn and Poe. Finn he can tolerate, in fact he genuinely likes Finn and can now see the courage it took him to leave the First Order. They have things in common. Poe on the other hand, well they hate each other not even in a brotherly way. Ben knows Poe saw himself as Leia’s son and how Leia treated him as if he were her own son. It hurt and he didn’t know if he could tolerate him even for the sake of Rey. </p>
<p>Pray to the maker for these three boys.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Love</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>TW// panic attacks, ptsd also things get a little raunchy there will be smut in this story!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Poe Dameron actually liked Rey, it was just that they didn’t get along very well but he did absolutely hate Ben Solo, he didn’t deserve to be called Ben. He hurt so many and caused chaos. The two were always head to head with each other especially when the Republic decided to pair them for missions. He wishes he could say it was a good cop bad cop situation but it wasn’t. Ben was moody and irritable most the time. The only time he wasn’t was when he was with Rey. For some reason Ben had been unusually quiet the entire walk to the South West outpost. Ben almost seemed upset and anxious. Finn had even noticed and asked him if he was alright, Ben had shrugged it off.</p><p>Something was up and honestly as much as Finn and Poe hated to admit it he was a good crew member, he always got things done and did them well. They arrived at the station and pressed the com link button to reach the other outpost that the three girls were in. </p><p> </p><p>“This is Dameron to Kaydel, Rose and Rey. Have you girls arrived to the outpost yet? Me Finn and Ben just got here. You’ll be happy to hear it’s well insulated.”</p><p> </p><p>“Yup were not there yet, Kaydel took a fall and cut open her hand on some ice. Rey forced healed her so they’re both a bit tired.” Rose says.</p><p>Bens eyes look up as he is sitting on the floor fidgeting with his hands when he hears Rey force healed Kaydel. He stood up immediately. “Rey are you insane! You can’t go out force healing everyone like that! It was a cut not a life threatening wound!”</p><p>“I know that, Ben but Kaydel was hurt and I didn’t want to risk it getting infected! Then I would have to heal an infected cut and that would drain more energy..”</p><p>“Do you not know what that could do? I mean..you could just run out of life force and you’ll be fucking dead!”</p><p>“I think you’re being overdramatic, Ben. I’m fine..”</p><p>“No because I don’t want to have to see you-you dead again! I can’t go through that not again..” He starts to tear up and neither of the other two men standing behind him understand really what they’re talking about. </p><p> </p><p>“We have a mission to do..let’s continue on. Rose will let you know when we get there.” The com link ends and Ben groans out in anger and also fear. He’s pacing back and forth, his eyes are filled with tears and he’s mumbling to himself. </p><p>“Ben..buddy are you alright?” Poe asks. </p><p>“You’re not looking too hot right now, Solo.” Finn adds in.</p><p>“Why does she have to be such a fucking martyr? Always doing the right thing for the greater good? It’s what caused her death. H-how does she not remember all she’s been through? Acting like it’s nothing?” Ben asks to himself as Finn and Poe look at each other, knowing that Ben was breaking down. </p><p>Ben began to breathe quickly as he could just remember everything, every word Snoke had ever told him, every voice in his head and watching his life be torn apart. He see’s Rey’s lifeless body in his arms, he hears her screams when Snoke tortured her and he can’t help but to start to cry, feeling helpless like he was a small child and there was nothing he could do but watch. All the years of abuse and grooming. His life had been decided for him before he was even born. He felt cursed. <br/>Everything is going too fast and then it just stops. </p><p>———————————————————————<br/>Ben knows he’s been out for a while because they’re back on the Falcon. He’s in what used to be Chewies bunk area but now is just a regular bunk. Rey is laying next to him on the bed, she doesn’t take up much space but everyone else it seems has gone to bed. Rey is on her data pad reading.</p><p>“Rey?” He murmurs tiredly and sits up. “What happened?”</p><p> </p><p>Rey heard his deep and groggy voice and put her data pad down. She gave him a small smile and grabbed his hand. “Poe and Finn said you passed out..that you started to ramble incoherently to them about me dying and you being worried and something about Snoke?” </p><p>Ben remembers and sighs as he rubs his eyes. He groans and stands up. He’s not in his arctic clothing anymore but in his black sweater and pants. He see’s that Rey had hung up and folded his clothes. “Yeah uh..I just..when you said you force healed Kaydel I freaked out..not intentionally. It reminded me of Exegol the mention of force healing. It-it was too much. I’m sorry..” </p><p>“Ben..” She begins and sits up on the bed. “It’s okay..I have that happen sometimes too. I try to keep it repressed.. it’s-it’s just mental stuff...” She mutters and rubs her arms. </p><p>“I’ve had..panic attacks before but when I was younger, back at Luke’s Jedi Temple. It hasn’t happened in so long- how did we end up here? On the Falcon? I don’t think Dameron or Finn would have carried me in the freezing conditions?”</p><p>“Me and the girls made our way back after completing the mission and flew the Falcon over to the South West station... Poe told me you passed out and I was really worried about you..”</p><p>“You were worried?”</p><p>“Of course I was worried! I love you! Why wouldn’t I be worried? If that happened to me you’d do the same..” she said softly, she realized she had admitted she loved him he knew it and she knew it but she never said it out loud. Rose and Kaydel had been making fun of her the pair being so oblivious of their love.</p><p>His eyes went wide as he pulled her close into his chest. “I love you too, my little scavenger..” He kisses her head and rubs her back. “I feel better now that you’re here..” He whispers and pushes some hair out of his face. Ben is worried, how long would it take before Rey grew sick and tired of him and abandoned him like everyone he knew had done. He would treasure every moment with her. He lays back down and now Rey is laying on top of him. She pulls the blanket over the two and she is tracing her nails along his jaw as she’s humming. Being with him felt like being whole. She could sense his worries, afraid she’ll abandon him. Poor boy had been told his whole life that everyone he loved didn’t love him back. </p><p>“I’m never leaving you, Ben Solo. If you think that then you’re sorely mistaken. You’re stuck with me.” She whispers and giggles. Ben thinks her laugh is the most beautiful thing, he thinks she’s the most beautiful thing to ever grace the entire galaxy. </p><p>Rey heard his thoughts and she blushes and she feels red hot on her face. “Ben stop it you know I can hear what you’re thinking right now!” She chuckles.</p><p>“I can’t help it, someone as gorgeous as you deserves to know how they appear to everyone else, sweetheart. It just so happens you’re perfect in every way. Anyone who says otherwise is an idiot.” He says as he pecks her lips softly, he can tell Rey won’t outwardly say they’re going to make things more..official between them but he’s reading her thoughts and she tells him that she wants to be with him. Ben deepens the kiss and then goes to her neck. </p><p>Rey’s heart is beating fast as she’s never really done anything before she just knows when he kisses her neck it feels amazing. She lets out a small whimper. “B-Ben..”<br/>He switches positions with her on the bed and he’s on top and smiling at her. “Ben!” She exclaims. “Everyone is sleeping...we can’t wake them..” she says and places her hands on his chest. “I don’t think doing it on the Falcon with my friends next door is a good idea.” She says as she’s raising her brows and wrapping her arms around him, she ran her hands through his hair. </p><p>“What you’ve never had sex before?” He scores and then realizes she hasn’t. “Oh..sorry I just assumed you might have done this before..”</p><p>“Not really I mean you were my first kiss back on Exegol...I don’t mean to ruin the mood but there were more important things to worry about when I was younger...like surviving. It’s not weird right? Oh god I’m weird aren’t I??”</p><p>Ben gets off of her and chuckled and sits her up, pulling her close. “No no it’s not weird at all, sweetheart.” He kisses her head and let’s his head rest in the crook of her neck. “Whenever you’re ready..I’m ready...” he whispers. “Let’s get some rest for the night hmm? When we get back to base then we can talk some more about this..” he says and points at him and Rey. He lays her back down on his chest and wraps his large arms around her again, he drifts asleep and his lips sometimes peck her face as he groggily murmurs sweet nothings into her ear.</p><p>Rey is positive she’s never slept so peacefully.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Ben and Rey</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Lando invites Rey and Ben to a party, smut ensues</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hi! It’s time for smut! Enjoy I’m not the best at writing smut so I did my best</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>They’re back on base and while Rey is busy with fixin’ up the Falcon due to it falling apart as of late he’s being approached by Chewie, Threepio and Lando. Chewie and Lando were people he considered to be family. He used to call them uncle ‘Wando’ and uncle Chewie and now he feels as if he doesn’t deserve to call him that. He hasn’t seen Lando in years. He had fought in the battle of Exegol but he had been recovering so he never saw him or had the chance to talk to him on base. </p><p>“Hey hey hey, kid! Long time no see!” Lando says and hugs him. “How’d that diplomatic mission go huh? Heard that the power source helped a lot of planets get back up on their feet.”</p><p>“It’s the least I can do..after everything..I’ve done ya know? Is to help out the people who need it..” Ben speaks softly and gives Chewie a hug as well since Chewie seemed to be offended that he didn’t give him one first. “The mission could have gone better, a scavenger killed our team leader..we couldn’t salvage his body but there’s a grave for him there on Hoth.</p><p> </p><p>“A scavenger huh? You don’t see many of those on Hoth anymore. Back when Han and I did our smuggling runs we’d run into some trouble with people on there..good times. Anyone ever told you that you’re a spitting image of Han?”</p><p>Ben swallows hard, the mention of his father tugs at his heart and he is haunted by what he’s done even if Han, Leia and Rey have forgiven him. He still can’t seem to forgive himself for what he had done and he doesn’t know why but being told he looks like his own father makes him tear up a bit. </p><p>Chewie agrees and it hurts even more. Ben wants to curl up and cry. “I miss him..a lot. Wish I had..spent more time with him. I wish he had made time for me as well...” Ben says. </p><p>“Well kid luckily you have us and that girl of yours. Don’t think I didn’t see how you and her were walking hand and hand with each other after you got off the ship..”</p><p>Ben starts stuttering and his face is blush red. “Me and Rey? Oh well you know it’s complicated..not really but I’m the one who’s making it complicated- yes we’re together but also not together. I still don’t know what we are. Mostly because she doesn’t want to label anything...”</p><p>“A lady that doesn’t want to put a label on a relationship? How unusual..she’s head over heels for you, Benji. I know that look in a woman when I see one..” he pats his back. “Say why don’t you and her come over for dinner tonight? My daughter Jannah cooks a hell of a bantha steak. That used to be your favorite. You always had to have it really well done.” He laughed.  </p><p>“That sounds nice..but I’m not sure Jannah would-would like me there..I know she’s a former trooper and-“ He’s cut off by Lando. </p><p>“Pft! None of that! You and her would get along well! What happened with you and her are similar..taken by the wrong side at a young age. She was taken from me a long time ago and you were being tormented from before you were born. Two kids being raised to not know any better. It’s not your fault, Benji. I expect to see you in our home by 7 standard hours? Dress nicely...you know I’m a man of fashion.” Lando says and walks away with Chewie. </p><p>Ben smiles softly, he turns to see Rey hard at work on the Falcon. She seems to be struggling with something. He walks over and bends down. “Need a hand?” He smirks. </p><p>“It’s the stupid power converter..it’s causing the whole main board system to fail and shut off...” She grunts and starts to get her hands grimy and covered in soot. “I found the problem..” She said quietly.</p><p>“What is it?”</p><p>“A nest..of porgs hatched itself in here..I don’t know why these things are still here.” She said as she took out the nest with one baby porg . “Looks like the mother left them..” she said quietly and gently set the porg down. It starts to whimper and cry because it’s not being held. Ben picks it up and pets it’s head gently as it coo’s at him happily. “Hi buddy.”</p><p>“Please don’t tell me you’re gonna get attached to that thing.” She crosses her arms and groans when he smiles up at her. “Fine but you’re taking care of that thing not me! And make sure Chewie doesn’t get ahold of it. He’ll eat it without hesitation.” She smiles. She wipes her hands on her pants and looks at him. “You were talking to Lando? I assume you know him well?”</p><p>“He’s my uncle..not biologically but he may as well be...” He said and shrugged. “Invited us to dinner tonight..if you want. With Chewie, Jannah, threepio..you don’t have to come if you don’t want to though..”</p><p>“I would love to!” She exclaims happily.  “I’ve never had a family dinner before! Do we need to bring anything?” She asks. Ben thinks it’s adorable Rey is so excited but he realizes it’s quite sad that she had never experienced much. She had never gone swimming, or gone on a family vacation or even celebrated her birthday. Rey didn’t actually know how old she was, she had revealed that to Ben. </p><p>   She guess was around 20-21 at this point but she’s not sure. She didn’t have any sense of normalcy as a child and while Ben didn’t have a great childhood either, Rey’s trauma was different. She had grown up thinking she was unworthy of love..and that made Bens heart break. She was worthy of so much more so when she’s excited about something so minuscule and normal he feels his heart being pulled out of his chest. Ben doesn’t tell Rey that it’s not ‘normal’ to get excited over eating dinner with a family he lets her get excited..she deserves to feel that way. </p><p>“Well great..Lando said to dress nice..so be prepared. He’s a fashion guy. Where do you think I got my sense of style from?” He laughed. “My grandmother Padme was..very well informed on fashion and so is Lando.”</p><p>Rey chuckled softly, she had planned to go in what she was wearing right now, her white outfit that she had worn on Exegol sure it was a bit dirty and ripping but she didn’t think much of it but she can tell Ben is quite the fashionista. She groans. “Please don’t tell me you’re gonna make me change..”</p><p>“Rey you should wear something nice...wearing the clothing you died in is just depressing..do you not have that much else?” He asks and rubs her back. She shakes her head. “Let’s go find something for you to wear okay?” He kisses her cheek and she blushes. He’s grabbing her hips as they walk to their bunk. Rey looks around in her wardrobe and they finally find something nicer for her to wear. It’s a navy blue tunic with black fabric going across her shoulders. She puts on her gun holster around her legs and lets her hair down. She’s wearing beige pants that go up to her calf and her shoes are the same. “Is this alright?”</p><p>“You looks amazing, sweetheart. We should go to the clothing district one day and get you some stuff. How does that sound?” He asks as he wraps his arms around her and kisses her forehead. </p><p>“It’s not necessary is it? Do people actually care about how others dress?” She asked and furrowed her brows. </p><p>“You’d be surprised how what you wear dictates how people treat you..” He said and puts on his black resistance jacket that Rey had scavenged for him. “And considering how you almost got hypothermia from Hoth because you didn’t have that great equipment for it you’ll need clothing suited for all weather. Luckily I know a guy who can get you some clothes and deliver it here to our bunk..”</p><p>“Thanks..” She says shyly. “So..this dinner it means a lot to you.”</p><p>“I mean yeah..kinda how’d you know?”</p><p>“I can read your mind, nerf-herder. It’s not intentional we’re just connected that way by our bond.” She chuckles as she begins to walk out the bunk. He instinctively wraps his arms around her waist to show to everyone that she is his. </p><p>“Totally forgot about that..” He laughs. “But yeah it’s somewhat a big deal because when Lando says it’s just us few I know that really means about 20 extra people that my dad and mother hung around back when the new republic was fresh to the universe. It’s just..gonna be weird. Not everyone knows who Kylo Ren was..who I was..” he mutters.</p><p>“And they won’t have to know if you don’t want them to..but just to let you know most people do know that you were Kylo Ren..but I’ll be there to defend you..” she says and rubs his back. She feels people staring a bit as they walk to where Lando would be staying while he waited to go back to Cloud City. </p><p> Rey hadn’t thought about where she would live once the Resistance base would be dismantled. Truthfully she thought about moving back to Jakku...feeling as if her service was done. She had brought Ben back to the light and maybe he would easily move on from Rey. She knew he had plenty of estates on dozens of planets to move to. He was always talking about Naboo, his grandmothers estate there and how he owned it now that his mother had passed. She blocked Ben from her mind as much as she could, scared that he’d be afraid of all the things that went through her head on a daily basis. </p><p>Finn had even told her to maybe she a clinician about how she was feeling, he had seemed to be concerned when Rey revealed what she felt like and all the trauma she carried with her. She also had to see another doctor for her back, she’d been having severe back pain since she had been thrown in that tree since Starkiller base. She wouldn’t tell Ben about it, he doesn’t need to be stricken with more guilt for things that happened in the past. She can’t blame him, they had been enemies..he was doing what he’d been told to do just as she had. </p><p>The sun was going down and Ben had stopped to stare at the sunset. He seems to be tearing up, and Rey looks concerned. “Ben, are you okay?” She grabs his hand and faces him and puts her other hand to cup his face. </p><p>“It’s just..I never thought I’d be free..” he whispers and stares down at her. “I never got to enjoy things..not even before I turned to the dark side. Snoke and Palpatine had been corrupting me since I was in my mother’s womb and now..I’m free of those imaginary shackles and I’m with you, Rey. The only person in the world who can even understand the loneliness I felt..I’m not lonely anymore..I’m whole. It’s a wonderful feeling..” Ben Let’s his tears fall and Rey wipes them away, tip toeing up to kiss his lips gently. </p><p>“Ben, I thought about this so much...about what life would be like once you returned to the light..it’s everything I could want and more.” She continues to guide him to Landos hut and they see that there are already a dozen people outside eating and laughing. Rey didn’t like parties, she didn’t like big groups of people she wasn’t sure why but after years of being alone with little interaction, she’s afraid. Her heart is beating rapidly and Ben wraps his arms around her, almost becoming a security blanket.</p><p>“You’re gonna be fine, love. You’re stuck with me for the night.” He chuckles and kisses the top of her head. They’ve made their way inside the house and people are sitting around the table, Lando, Chewie, Jannah, Finn. They’re having fun. </p><p> </p><p>Lando sees Ben and Rey enter and he’s smirking to Ben as he notices that his arms are wrapped around Rey. “Hey! There’s my two love birds! Get a load of this couple! If they aren’t the sweetest pairing! I never woulda thought that Ben Solo woulda finally landed his first girlfriend!”</p><p>Rey looks up at Ben. “I’m You’re first girlfriend?” She asks, confused. Surely when he was younger he had to of had a girlfriend.</p><p>“Yeah I wasn’t a ladies man growing up..” he says quietly as the pairing sits down at the table. </p><p>“Let me tell you something about this kid here. Full of determination. When he was probably around 7 there was this girl- uh what was her name..Maya! Maya was one of the senators daughters and she was like 16 but he had a huge crush on her and always gave her flowers and did not give up until she agreed to dance with him at some ball. It was adorable..” Lando speaks as Chewie can positively attest to what he’s saying. </p><p>Ben is blushing and hits his head on the table. “Did I come here tonight to get embarrassed?”</p><p>Rey is laughing and so is Finn because he never thought that Kylo Ren would ever have to chase after a girl. </p><p>“Now that you mention it I have a lot of stories to tell. Solo over here when he was a toddler used to run around in his diapers. He’d just take off his clothes and run around and sometimes even naked. That damned kid wanted to let loose.”</p><p>Ben is covering his face as Jannah drinks her blue milk cocktail. Rey is smiling and rubbing Bens back. She leans into his ear. “I’m gonna head outside real quick..” Rey says as she stands up, Ben nods and kisses her cheek before she gets up. </p><p>Finn looks at Ben. “Do you love her?” He asks.</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“I said..do you love her? Because if not then I won’t think twice about kicking your ass. Don’t go breaking her heart and being an asshole..”</p><p>“I love her..very much. We love each other..we have for a long time..I would never hurt her..” He says. Finn nods and continues to drink.</p><p>30 minutes pass and Rey isn’t back and so he decides that he needs to find her. When he goes outside the hut she’s not there and it makes him frown, had she left. Had those stories scared her off? He starts to panic, what if she doesn’t love him, what if she’s gotten sick of him like he’d been brainwashed to believe his whole life. He’s running to their bunk and sees that she’s sitting on the floor with her shirt off as she’s trying to put on some kind of cream on her back. </p><p>“What’re you doin? We haven’t even eaten yet the dinner should be done in fifteen minutes..”</p><p>“It’s a Bacta cream...helps with numbing pain.. I’m not that hungry.” she mutters as she groans.</p><p>“What happened to your back? Let me help..and you not being hungry? Now I know somethings wrong..” <br/>He kneels down to the floor and unwraps her bra band. The fact that she’s not wearing anything on her chest makes his face go red but he doesn’t focus on her chest, he’s looking at her back and  sees that the veins are darker and more black spread around like the root of a tree. </p><p>“It’s nothing..”</p><p>“It’s obviously something, sweetheart...tell me what happened.”</p><p>“It’s from Starkiller Base..a wound from that tree I was flung into..it’s just bothersome. I’ve tried to heal myself but that doesn’t really work or at least I haven’t learned it yet..” She mumbled. </p><p>“Well then let me heal it..” he speaks softly. “I don’t need you to be in pain because of me..that’s not something I want for you..” </p><p>Rey shakes her head. “You..don’t have to..it’s okay, Ben. You know I’ve been through worse..”</p><p>“And I don’t want you to keep going through pain. The war is over now..there’s no need for more lingering pain..” he whispers and he slowly picks her up in his arms, he lays her down on her belly in the bed and gently traces his hands along the dark veins. Focusing all his energy into her, all of his light and health to her because she deserved to not be in any more pain, he thought. He would do anything for her if she needed him to. He’d kill anyone she asked if she ever did or help her with anything no matter how absurd he thinks it might be. He loves her and without her he doesn’t know what he might do. If he lost her, his light then he’d be tempted to the dark side and there would be no voice of reason. So he closes his eyes and kisses her head as he kneels to the side of the bed and gently placed his warm slightly calloused hands on her back and let’s the force flow through him to her.</p><p>He watches the dark veins fade away, the scar that it left was no longer there and he can sense that Rey is finally relieved of her pain. He’s tired from the energy it took but it was so worth it. She slowly sat up and looked at him, she’s bare chested and he’s staring at how beautiful she looks like this. </p><p>“Ben..you didn’t have to do this..” She whispers, yet he smiles to her and nods.</p><p>“I know..but it’s worth every bit.” He leans in and kisses her lips gently. “As long as you’re with me you will never be in pain ever again.” He let’s his hand fall to her waist and leans his head down on <br/>her thighs. Rey leans her head down and she’s rubbing his back. She feels relieved of all pain and with him there holding her she’s sure she could stay in that position for the rest of her life. </p><p>He looks up and sits himself on the bed, he cups her face and kisses her deeply. He tentatively let’s his hand go up her waist, he’s asking for permission through their bond, he wants her more than anything and he wants to make her feel good and secure. “May I?” He asks.</p><p>Rey looks at him after he’s pulled away from the deep kiss. She’s only got on her slacks. She nods and he continues to kiss and nibble at her neck. Rey has never experienced sex, or hickeys like most people have at her age so when he kisses her neck it tickles and she giggles and gasps. His large hand easily cups her breast as he leaves marks on her neck and naval. She lays down on her back and he pulls down her pants. She feels, excited and aroused and while she’s never actually had an orgasm she swears she feels something building up inside her. Rey takes his shirt off in a haste and sits up more as she’s determined to make sure she’s not the only mostly naked one in the room. She starts to undo his pants and she feels a bulge, a large one at that and his crotch area looks like it’s going to rip out of its underwear. “B-Ben..”</p><p>“Yes, sweetheart?” He asks as he begins to kiss down right below the lining of her panties.</p><p>“Is it going to fit?” </p><p>He chuckles a bit in a way that makes Rey even more aroused. “We’ll make it fit, sweetheart.” He whispers and slowly takes her underwear off with his teeth. His fingers run along her slit and he finds her clit, rubbing it softly. The next thing he does is place his mouth between her legs and the sensation Rey feels is indescribable. “B-Ben! F-fuck!” She’s sensitive, so sensitive and Cher eyes are rolling to the back of her head. She grips his hair. “I’m-I’m so wet! I need you..please..” she’s thrusting her hips, she needs him in her right now. </p><p>“You taste so good my little scavenger..” he growls and he puts one of his fingers in her and feels around for her soft spongy spot that he knows will make her feel even better. “Does that feel good, sweetheart?” <br/>He’s doing his best to make sure she feels okay, her walls are clenching around his finger, acting as if it’s his cock. He takes his finger out and licks it. </p><p>“Y-Yes it feels so good! Please...I need you!” She cries, his finger in her had felt weird but so enjoyable. She’s watching him pull down his underwear and his cock springs out. She’s never seen one before and curiously gets the best of her. There’s a white bead at the top and she goes to touch it, her thumb circles around the tip and Ben groans. Pleasing him turned her on. She smiles. “You’re beautiful...” she whispers, she lays back down as he topples over her and slowly begins to insert himself in her. </p><p>The stretch feels unnatural to Rey, it’s stinging and he’s not even halfway through. She winces and he panics. “It’s okay, baby..it’s okay..I’ll pull out if you want. It’s normal for it to hurt and there might be some bleeding but you’re gonna be okay I promise..” He lets her hair with one hand.</p><p>“K-keep going please...I-I need you.” The pleads, her face is red and she’s looking directly in his eyes. “Please!”</p><p>He nods and decides to get the hard part done and thrusts into her, she muffled a screams and he lets himself stay in one position. He kisses her face all over and Rey giggles and blushes. “This is where the fun begins, sweetheart. It won’t hurt as much after this..” He begins to slowly thrust in and out, letting her get used to his size and girth. </p><p>“F-fuck! Yes please I need more! I love you!” She exclaims as she feels her face heat up. His face is right in front of hers and she kisses him softly as she moans with his thrusts. “I love you, Ben.” She whispers. </p><p>He’s caressing her waist and body as he trusts in and out, it feels euphoric to be inside of her. It’s like they were made for each other and they kind of were. Ben had had sex before and they were typically flings that Snoke had ordered for him to get his frustrations out and Ben never liked being ordered to have sex but this was his choice and Reys as well. He supposes that the bond has amplified the emotional connection and physical connection of sex because it felt godly to him. He loved seeing the way her face turned red and how she moaned out his name softly. They keep going for a while until Rey starts moaning so loudly that he’s sure that the whole galaxy is aware of what they’re doing. Luckily, their bunk is farther from everyone else. </p><p>Rey feels her heart beating fast and her stomach is filled with excitement. She feels something building up inside of her. “B-Ben! Ben I’m gonna- cum! Oh fuck!” She felt her body shake as it released and felt all her liquids spill on his cock. She breathes out heavily and grabs onto the bed sheets tightly as Ben fills her up, giving a few more thrusts before leaving himself in her and cuddling her. </p><p>“That was...beautiful, sweetheart..” He speaks and then pushes some hair from her face as he kisses her lips gently. He groans and closes his eyes. Wishing to stay in that position forever. He turns her on the side of her body and inserts himself back in, he likes the intimacy and he feels that she likes this as well, to be continually connected. He can tell that Rey is exhausted so he pets her hair until she falls asleep and soon he follows suit and sleeps peacefully.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Twin Suns</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Rey has some difficult but good news to deal with while her and Ben start to move to Naboo together.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It’s been a year since the war ended and Ben came back to the light. It’s been 6 months since Ben and Rey consummated their love physically. The base for the resistance is almost all packed up, Finn and Poe have been re-located to Coruscant as they meet with new Senators. Rose and Kaydel are still on the resistance base of Ajan Kloss along with Ben and Rey. </p><p>Ben looks at Rey as they’re packing. “Aren’t you excited to go to Naboo?”</p><p>“I’m sorry what?”</p><p>“Naboo...you know my grandmothers estate..I’ve told you that we’re gonna be living there!”</p><p>“Right..right sorry..I’ve been forgetting things lately.” She rubs her head and looks at him and gives him a smile.</p><p>Apparently Rey didn’t know Ben had planned that not only he would move to Naboo but also Rey along with him. When he told her that she’d be coming with him she was surprised and Ben had been confused as to why she would think he’d leave his girlfriend. In the end Rey had felt so relieved that she would be living on a beautiful planet like Naboo. One thing had found in the past year was that they had sex...a lot. It had been just routine and not that she was complaining but as of late she’d been cranky, moody and not feeling well in the mornings so sex was off the table until she figured what was wrong with her. If she was sick she didn’t want to get Ben sick she knew he didn’t handle being sick well. He had caught the Batuu flu after one of their diplomatic missions and not only was he delusional, thinking he wasn’t sick at all, he also insisted that he should continue on the mission in which Rey protested. They argued for two hours, he ended up falling asleep on her lap for 4 hours before waking up and crying about how in his dreams porgs had come to attack him. So, Rey really wasn’t willing to get him sick. </p><p>Ben see’s how pale her face is compared to her normal glowing desert skin. He places his hand on her head. “It doesn’t seem like you have a fever..maybe you ate some bad food and have a stomach bug..” he whispers and kisses her head. “We still need to continue to pack but why don’t you rest for a few hours on the falcon while I load everything in..”</p><p>“But—“</p><p>“None of that..you need rest right now. You’ve been sick for days and I’m not taking no for an answer.” He whispers. “Go..I’ll be there in a few minutes, sweetheart..” </p><p>Rey rolls her eyes and kisses his lips quickly before heading off to the Falcon. Kaydel and Rose are sitting by, they would be staying stationed there until the base was gone. Kaydel would be joining Poe and Finn on Coruscant while Rose would go to Naboo. </p><p>Rose sees Rey and gives her a hug. “Oh Rey I cant believe...we’re all going our separate ways!” She frowns. </p><p>“We will see each other in just a few weeks!” Rey laughs. “We all have to meet back on Batuu to reach out to our newest nominee for Senator. He’s quite the...political enthusiast that’s what I’ve been told.” Rose sighs. </p><p>“Well hopefully we all will be able to live our lives normally one day. I’m thinking of just taking some time for myself with Ben. These constant missions have been taking a toll on my body and emotionally. I just..haven’t gotten a break.” She rubs her eyes. “Between us three..it’s like the republic senate doesn’t even see me as a person, just a symbol of hope and a poster girl for the Jedi. They want me to create a Jedi Council and that’s not something I want to do...” She sits next to Kaydel and slumps down as she wraps her arms around her. “I’m going to miss you guys so mu-“ She barely gets the sentence out and runs over to a bush and starts to throw up. Rose and Kaydel walk to her quickly and pat her back. </p><p>“Oh my god are you okay?!” Rose asks, she’s concerned for her friend. </p><p>“Yeah..I’ve just been..throwing up every morning, feeling sick and moody..” She wipes her mouth as she grabs some water from her satchel. She swishes the water in her mouth and spits it out.</p><p>Kaydel and Rose look at each other and then to Rey. “Rey..I think we need to talk..let’s take you to the med hangar real quick..”</p><p>———————————————————————</p><p>She doesn’t believe it, there’s no way in hell she can be pregnant..and definitely not with twins. She..didn’t think it would happen, she actually didn’t really know how it happened because they’d use protection, as much as Ben explained to Rey that he would like to have children she said that they would have children but not now, not with everything still being unstable. But, the answer was right in front of her as one of the last nurses on base set up a sonogram for her just to see if everything was normal. Two months, she’s been pregnant for two months and she never realized it until now.</p><p>She doesn’t know how she’s going to tell Ben and she’s angry at him because he knocked her up. She barely knew what sex had been up until a year ago and now she was pregnant with not just one but two children. She’s gotta keep her cool, she knows that but she’s so panicked that she doesn’t even realize that she’s making everything in the hangar float. Her heart rate is fast and she doesn’t think she can handle it. </p><p>“Rey..calm down, sweetie. You’re gonna be just fine.” The nurse says to her. “There are options..” she says.</p><p>Rey knows there are options, abortion or adoption and for some reason she doesn’t want to put the children up for adoption. She’s thinking about abortion, she doesn’t know what to tell Ben or even if she should tell him. She needs time to think. </p><p>After the nurse gives her some water to drink and some dried fruit to eat, she’s back on the Falcon with Ben putting their belongings on the ship. She gives him a small smile as she walks up the ramp and makes her way to the cockpit, Ben follows.</p><p>“So where’d you head off to?”</p><p>“I’m pregnant.” She mutters, almost instantly. She doesn’t mean to say it but she just does.</p><p>“W-What?” </p><p>“I’m pregnant.” She repeats but it’s louder and she sounds upset. </p><p>Ben is dumbfounded and has no idea what to say to her, he fucked up. They had used protection so often, had a condom broken? Had they forgotten one night? Even so, she had an IUD implant. </p><p>“Do you..know how long?” He asks quietly.</p><p>“Two months..and I’m suspecting twins. I felt that part through the force. I felt two life forces not just one..” </p><p>Ben could faint right now, he leans his head on the switchboard and grunts angrily.<br/>
“Damnit! Rey, I’m so sorry!” He turns to look at her. “What’re you gonna do?” He asks. “I can tell you already made your mind up on adoption. Look it’s all your choice alright but..just know I still love you no matter what you choose. If you decide to terminate this pregnancy I’m supportive of you want to keep the two..I’m supportive of it. It’s your body..not mine and I can’t tell you what to do with it.” </p><p>Rey looks down and shakes her head. “But you’re the father don’t you want some say in it?”</p><p>“Well of course but I don’t have the right to tell you or try to convince you what to do. I’m not the one who has to carry not one but two kids..it’s your decision and...I promise whatever it is that happens I’m there for you.” He grips her hand, he notices she’s shaking a bit so he pulls her up and out of the chair and lets her sit on his lap to hug him. He rubs her back and kisses her head. He hears that she’s sniffling and crying and his heart aches more. He can see that Rey is conflicted and has no idea what to. Had she been given defective birth control? He’s just thinking about how it could have happened. </p><p>“When we get to Naboo why don’t we just talk about it more then..” Rey suggests and kisses his head. “I’m just..so tired..and I need time to think. I’m gonna be in our quarters...” She walks away off into one of the bedrooms on the Falcon. </p><p>Ben nods, if she needed time then he’d give her as much time as she needed. He sits as he watches the stars pass by. They should be on Naboo in a few days. It’s not safe to light speed the falcon anymore and Ben is thinking it’s time for Rey and Ben to buy a new ship, something for /them/ and maybe their growing family. He forgets that Rey is 10 years younger and she’s beginning her life, but he’s also seen almost every part of her mind and she does want to have kids at some point which makes him feel a little more secure in case she isn’t ready to have children now. He’s struggling to process it but he can’t help but smile knowing that his life might be turning out for the better.</p><p>Rey is sitting down and slowly undressing herself to be in her sleepwear, she’s purely exhausted and doesn’t feel like speaking so instead she sits at her desk in the small captains quarters and starts working on her lightsaber. She was building a new one, a double bladed one and while the legacy saber is nice and so is Leia’s she lets Ben have them. Although he doesn’t typically use them, he had them sitting on a case for a while. He said he wanted to create his own sabers, that he wanted to find a Kyber Krystal of his own along with her. While working on her saber she felt two little forces of life in her and she chuckled a bit. She suddenly looked down and then to the small mirror that was in the room. She stared and saw something awful. It all flashed before her eyes but she saw it.</p><p>The Throne of the Sith, her screaming and crying as her eyes were sunken in. It seemed like she had been in labor, that’s what it looked like. Ben was by her side and holding one of the children while she was screaming and losing life. Then she sees her eyes, yellow and bright but also the tint of a fiery red. She has a red double bladed saber, she had a black outfit on and a scar going deeply along her face, similar to the one she gave Kylo on Starkiller base but on the opposite side. </p><p>The flash of images through her head ended and she started to cry softly, trying to not make her emotions known to Ben. It was hard to block him out, to make sure he didn’t see or feel her emotions but it wasn’t ever enough. She could sense him and hear his footsteps coming into the room, the door sliding open. </p><p>“What happened?” He asks, in such a serious tone as if he’s demanding that she tell him.</p><p>“It’s nothing..I just..I don’t know what I’m going to do..” He walks closer and rubs her shoulders and places a kiss on her neck. </p><p>“Well, just know that no matter what I support it-“</p><p>“I want to have these children..” She says suddenly. “It’s what I want..” </p><p>“Oh..okay..I wasn’t expecting you to make your decision so quickly..but wow..” He places a hand on her stomach. “Two babies huh? I can’t believe it..I mean I do have the twin gene and it did skip over a generation. I guess it was due that the Skywalkers had a set of twins...” He speaks softly and Rey can’t help but smile at how gentle he is being. He’s placing his ear to her stomach. Even though she isn’t showing or anything, Rey thinks it’s cute. </p><p>Just as Ben had blocked out Snoke from his head before killing him, Rey was doing the same to Ben. He didn’t need to worry about such dumb things, Rey always had visions and she didn’t want to worry herself. Most visions usually don’t come true anyways, that’s what she’s telling herself.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Things are gonna heat up and get angsty I promise</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Naboo Fashion</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Rey and Ben arrive on Naboo, do some shopping and fluffy stuff.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Before I actually post the next chapter which involves Rey shopping, I’ve decided to show you all what she buys and her new style beyond the monstrosity that TROS gave us</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>https://images.app.goo.gl/ygSCVA5u5NZQPqiw5<br/>https://images.app.goo.gl/z7w1HrXdLtqEC5SZ9<br/>https://images.app.goo.gl/L74fD9Zzf88wwJBYA<br/>https://images.app.goo.gl/f7gu4PDGHPGMH8ig9<br/>https://images.app.goo.gl/LhgLgVSk6TNav4V26<br/>https://images.app.goo.gl/WFjmhhaRbCUoicGz7<br/>https://images.app.goo.gl/sUfTGqettmKjBu679<br/>https://images.app.goo.gl/2W6pcP5jNF8QipzN9</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. Naboo</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Sorry for not being so active I promise I’ll be posting often again! Remember to comment and leave kudos!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Naboo, specifically the capital, Theed is a wonderful place. Rey’s astounded by how beautiful a place could be. “Will we be living here?”</p><p>“Well yes and no. The Amidala Estate is only a few standard minutes from here. I used to come here often when I was a child. I even had my own room. But once again that was when I was a child..after everything I never came back. Naboo was a planet that was sacred..it was never under First Order control nor did the Resistance ever get money from the planet itself.” He speaks as he gently grabs her hand. “While my grandmother was Queen of Naboo only at 14, it was electoral not by family lineage. So while I may be related to her I’m not royalty..at least I don’t think so.” </p><p>“But you are the prince of Alderaan?” Rey looks up at him, even if Alderaan has been destroyed by the Empire he still held that title as much as his mother was still known as Princess Leia.</p><p>“Well yeah..I don’t like to think about that..it’s..it’s just a title.” He says quietly. “They don’t mean much of anything. I don’t deserve the title Prince of Alderaan not after everything I’ve done.” He shakes his head and soon they reach the fashion district. Rey and Ben had agreed to stop by the shopping district before going back to their new Estate. It would make it less time consuming. </p><p>“I finally get to spoil you.” Ben says and presses a kiss to Reys forehead. “Come along, sweetheart..” he pulls her into a shop filled with dresses and pants and tunics. Rey didn’t really know much about fashion, it definitely hadn’t ever been on her mind but she felt each fabric so carefully. She didn’t like the scratchy material, she liked the feel of soft light fabric like silk or cotton but back on Jakku those fabrics weren’t sturdy enough to last through one standard summer. So most of what Rey used to wear was beige hoarse and tough tunics with long flowing fabrics across her chest down to her ankles. </p><p>“This is all so beautiful surely this is way out of my price range..” She speaks softly and she hears a hearty laugh from Ben. She narrows her eyes at him and crosses her arms. “What?”</p><p>“Rey..you don’t worry about price..especially with me, sweetheart..I’ve got plenty to spend..and I want you to be able to have enough clothing for each trimester. You deserve to not have to wear the same clothing over and over again.”</p><p>Rey nods and smiles softly, looking at the various types of clothing they offered, it’s not a long process at all and Rey knows what she wants. She doesn’t wear dresses, she’s never had the chance to but the thought of not having to wear pants all the time is kind of fun to her. After their shopping trip they are brought on a speeder to the Amidala-Naberrie Villa in Lake Country. It’s called Varikyno. Rey is astounded that one family would need this much space. </p><p> </p><p>“How much family did your mothers side have?” Rey asks and looks at the scenery, there’s a huge lake and while that frightens Rey she knows she can swim a bit at least she could on Ach-to but that was because she was afraid she would drown if she didn’t swim enough. </p><p>“My grandfather and grandmother lived here while she was pregnant. Her parents, cousins, nieces and nephews lived here. Family was important to them...so they spent a lot of time around each other. I would sit with my older or young cousins and second cousins when I would stay for the summer. I don’t think they know what happened to me. Not many people do..nobody outside of the first order really knew who I was and if they had seen my face they wouldn’t know I was General Orga- my moms son..” He says and shrugs. “It’s quite beautiful isn’t it? It needs to be fixed up a bit, fix some roof tiles but I can easily do that..not many people live here, just some of my grandmothers handmaidens and their daughters who all now work for my cousins and so on. My mother hadn’t really known them up until right before I was born. She wanted me to know my grandmothers side but I wasn’t allowed to know anything about my grandfather. I didn’t find out I was related to him until I was around your age..” he says as they go up to the entrance of the Villa and slowly enter. </p><p>The Villa is absolutely stunning and regal, something Rey isn’t used to. She already feels a bit out of place. She’s not fancy and she knows she won’t be fancy if she’s going to be carrying to babies in her. She looks around, it doesn’t seem like many people are around. Soon a familiar droid starts to make it’s way to them.</p><p>“Oh goodness me! Is that Master Rey and Master Ben! It is such a good thing to see you, my friends! Artoo was just getting me ready to set up for lunch for when you arrived!” C-3P0 is buzzing with excitement as Ben Solo was one of his favorite masters to serve. Rey appreciated C-3PO a lot more when the war ended, he was actually quite resourceful with his knowledge. Whoever made him was incredibly intelligent. </p><p>“Hello, threepio..” Ben says and smiles patting his pack. “It’s nice to see you..how have you been?”</p><p>“Oh you know me, I am holding up quite well, Sir! I do find myself expecting Master Leia to pop up and give me something to do. I cannot believe she is gone. One of my longest life time friends..” He sighs and begins to walk them to the dining table that was out on one of the terraces. It was shining bright and it wasn’t too hot outside. </p><p>Artoo beeped happily before beginning to serve Rey and Ben some drinks. </p><p>“Oh..I can’t have this Artoo..between all of us I’m pregnant..” Rey whispers as Artoo beeps happily and whirs with excitement. <br/>“You can’t tell anyone..not even C-3P0...you know he’s a blabber mouth..” Rey chuckles as Artoo agrees and takes the drink back, giving her a glass of water instead. Their lunch is Bantha Prime Rib with russet mashed potatoes. Rey doesn’t have table manners, she never really grew that out. She started ripping the meat with her hands, not bothering to use the utensils on the table. </p><p>Ben is almost laughing hysterically as he gets up from the table and goes to her side and grabs the knife and the fork. “Baby baby look here’s a fork and a knife...you cut it like this.” He shows her how to cut her meat and use the fork. “See you cut it into thin pieces so it’s not impossible to chew, sweetheart..”</p><p>Rey tried to cut her next piece of meat but struggled and groaned in frustration. “It’s not my fault that’s just how I eat!” She crosses her arms and huffs.<br/>Ben frowns when he realizes she’s taking personal offense to this, he can feel her insecurity and sadness from what he said. <br/>“I know it’s not your fault, sweetheart..” he finishes cutting her Bantha prime rib and kissed her cheek. “Look at me sweetheart.” He says and tilts her jaw to him. “I love you so much and you know I don’t care how you eat..I didn’t mean to offend you.” <br/>Rey smiles softly to him and leans her head into his shoulder. She giggles as he tickles her sides gently. He gets down on his knees and presses his head against her stomach. “Hi little babies in there.” He whispers and chuckles. “You two are going to love it here, there’s so much to see and explore..” He whispers as he rubs her still flat stomach.</p><p>Rey chuckles and looks down on him. “You know they can’t hear you or anything...they’re barely the size of an olive.” She laughs. </p><p>“At some point they’ll recognize my voice so I just wanna make sure they never miss out on my lovel baritone voice.” He smiles smugly and Rey nudges his shoulder. “Oh shut up you nerfherder!” She says. </p><p>“Did you get that from my mother?” He cocks his eyebrow and crosses his arms. His mother cursed like a sailor and he couldn’t say he was any better. Nerfherder was in his vocabulary’s quite young from hearing his mother call his father that. </p><p>“I may have heard her say it a few times.” She murmurs as she pets his hair. </p><p>“Two boys, that’s what I’m feeling right now. I can just sense it. That’s crazy...w-we made that..” He is in such a state of awe and amazement that he would be starting his family with Rey. “Like with our love...we created something wonderful. When I was younger I always thought I might want a family..but Jedi rules forbade those things..you hade to remain celibate but..truthfully all Jedi in the past have mostly fallen in love. It’s very outdated. Back when they believed the force to be genetic they didn’t want Jedi having off spring, afraid that the Jedi would conquer the galaxy. But that isn’t true at all..we now know that force abilities isn’t passed through genetics. Unless...”</p><p>“Unless what?” She crosses her arms. </p><p>“Unless you’re part of a dyad. I was reading about dyads back with the First Order and because our bond is...more powerful than life itself it’s guaranteed our children will be force sensitive and have an increased amount of power at a rather young age..” He says quietly.</p><p>Rey smiles and looks at him. “So..you’re telling me our two sons are going to be very powerful? We don’t have to train them if they don’t want to right? I don’t want to inflict anything like that on someone...I’ve been told that the Jedi used to take force sensitive children from their families to train them. I don’t think that’s right..” She says quietly. </p><p>“No we don’t have to train them if they don’t wan to. The Jedi had many flaws...it’s a religion..so is the Sith. They started out as a religion at least..now they’re all dead..” He sighs. “I guess you’re really the last official Jedi huh?” He nudges her arm and smiles.</p><p>“Well yeah but you too!” She says and furrows her brows. “You’re a Jedi, certainly went through more training than me. Although I can’t say that helped whenever I’d kick your ass out on the battlefield.” She laughs. </p><p>“I am no Jedi...and I never wanted to be..I’ve told you how I wanted to be a pilot. I would always beg my dad to let me co-pilot but he said he didn’t need one. He certainly did.” He laughs a bit and stands up, moving his chair closer to her and eating. He looks at the sunset, over the blue lake and admires it. “You know, this sunset is beautiful..I wouldn’t want to be here with anyone else Rey..” He whispers softly and wraps an arm around her. “I know this is rather informal but..I would love if you were to be my wife..and I don’t have a ring but I’ve been thinking about you being my wife since..forever. I’ve always seen you, in dreams, in visions and I longed so much for you. I wanted you, I needed you and now that we are starting a family together and finally getting settled...I want to officially be bound to you as if being a Dyad wasn’t enough.” He says as he stares into her hazel doe eyes. He places a hand at the back of her neck and presses their foreheads together. </p><p>Rey is smiling softly, tears welling up in her eyes. Someone wants to spend their whole life with her, it seems so impossible that someone would stick around but she knows Ben would never leave her side. She knows the light within him won’t leave no matter what happens. Years of starvation, abuse, street fights, dehydration and scavenging felt worth it to feel her soul be complete. So she nods her head against his and presses her lips against him and deepens her kiss. “Of course I’ll marry you, Ben.” She whispers as she cries happy tears. Soon he’s crying too and they hold eahother in a warm embrace as they watch the sun go down.</p>
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<a name="section0014"><h2>14. Mornings on Naboo</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hello! I have a beta reader now and she helps me edit so this an edited version of this chapter and a new chapter should be on its way soon! The style of the writing might change a bit.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>2 months later </p><p>Whoever said morning sickness only lasted in the morning had obviously never been pregnant. Rey found herself always sick, she even could smell things that were distantly far away. Ben could open up a can of Berry Soda and she would smell it down the hall. “Ben! Did you just open up the last can of soda! You know that it’s the only thing I can drink right!” She screams across their luxurious penthouse in the Villa. </p><p>“Rey I will go out and buy some more tomorrow okay?” He says as he enters the room and takes a sip of his drink. “I needed to go to the market and get some things anyways..” He speaks as he leans down and kisses her forehead. </p><p>Rey crosses her arms and looks at him. “Why don’t you try being pregnant and the only thing you crave is a Berry soda? That’s not nice of you to take the last one.”</p><p>Ben thinks she’s joking around with him when he realizes that she’s being very serious. She has tears in her eyes and he begins to panic. </p><p>“I-I can go and get more right now okay? Have the rest of mine I’ll get it for you. No no- don’t cry...why are you crying oh my god-“</p><p>He’s kissing her face as she cries and he hands her the rest of his drink. “You take that, sweetheart. I’m gonna get you whatever you want alright. Is there anything else you’d like me to get you?” He asks as he pushes some hair out of her face, her forehead is hot and Ben presses his lips against it to feel how warm she is. “You’re not doing a damn thing...I’ll do the laundry, the cleaning and cooking. You have a fever and I’m calling in a doctor to see you while I got have someone else get you what you need.” He says, it’s almost like he’s frantic and nervous. </p><p>She could sense his worry but Rey knew she was fine and that he was just being his overdramatic self. Rey had, had so many fevers growing up from heat exhaustion and dehydration that it didn’t faze her that much. </p><p>“Ben there’s no need-“ She’s interrupted with Ben looking at her with growing wide eyes as he hands are on his hips.</p><p>“No need? You have a fever and you’re pregnant you shouldn’t be sick! That can hurt you or the babies and- and kriff I don’t think I could live with myself if you three got hurt.” He gestures to her tiny basically flat belly. </p><p>Rey sighs, if it’ll make him calm down a bit then she’d let him call a doctor to make him feel better. So she lets him call in a doctor and it turns out that fevers are totally normal with pregnancies and that Ben should just monitor her temperature. </p><p>Ben knows that at some point he would start to feel whatever Rey was feeling physically when pregnant, he doesn’t mind in fact he thinks it’s weird that he’ll experience her pregnancy in a way. He’s also realizes that he’s going to have to figure out what he’s going to do when the kids are here, he knows that he’s being considered to run for his deceased mother but Ben doesn’t want to rush into politics too quickly. He hopes that he can just travel and live happily with his soon to be family before running for senator. He doubts he’ll get elected due to who he used to be but not many know who Kylo Ren was and had assumed that Ben Solo had been a very private man, some didn’t even know that Han Solo and Leia Organa had a son. It might shock people but also inspire them that Padme Amidala’s grandson is taking in her steps. It would be a good strategy. He’s not quite sure how Rey is going to cope with not going to be able to do much in her late pregnancy, he knows she hates laying around but he is trying his best to secure her safety. </p><p>———————————————————————</p><p>The fever had gone down before nightfall and Rey felt normal, well as normal as being pregnant can be. “Ben..I think we should tell our friends about the pregnancy and our engagement..I-I don’t want a big fancy wedding..all I need is you and my friends who are basically family to me.” Rey speaks softly as she’s searching their fridge for something to snack on. Rey grabs a dragon fruit from the fridge and begins to cut it in half. “Darling do you want the other half of this?” She asks and offers him the fruit in her hand. </p><p>Ben obliges and shakes his head before sweeping his hand right below her waist and kissing cheek from behind as his large hand spans her entire stomach. “I think it’s a wonderful idea to tell our friends but..I must warn you that us getting married is a big deal..at least to my cousins it is. I’m..required to have a big ceremonial wedding as Prince of Alderaan..you know, having it broadcasted to the holonet and cameras recording it.. I know it’s not ideal but it’s once of the reasons I don’t like being a prince..” He says as he turns her around and sets her fruit on the plate on their golden countertop. “But you also know I don’t like going by the rules...so I was thinking that we can get married, have someone be there to witness it and the pastor who can legally marry us and then have that dumb big wedding...but we’ll already be married..nobody will know the difference..” He smirks and Rey smiles softly and kisses his lips softly. </p><p>“That sounds like a perfect idea, Ben..” He says as she deepens her kiss with him. She moans softly and he pulls her over to the couch and there’s a knock on the door. Ben rolls his eyes as Rey groans and is left on the couch dissatisfied. </p><p>“What do you want?” He asks grumpily as he opens the sliding doors, assuming it’s C-3P0. </p><p>“Coruscant is under attack..” It’s one of the handmaidens daughter. </p><p>“What?! By who?” Rey stands up quickly and walks over to the handmaiden and Ben. </p><p>“First Order militia, they had been hiding right below everyone’s nose, they were at the bottom level in the old Jedi temples..”</p><p>“That’s not possible..there was never any outposts or bases on Coruscant.” He says quietly. “I would know that..” He says quietly. “I was the leader and I had control of where it went-“<br/>He stops when he realizes that Hux had double crossed both The Resistance and The First Order.</p><p>“Get me a transport ship..I’m going to Coruscant and you tell someone to stop engaging with the militia! It’s not just one group, he probably has multiple groups of those troopers. This isn’t First Order business...he had-he was making his own army, his own legion to reign over.” He says quietly as he runs out. </p><p>“Ben! I’m coming with you!” She grabs her saber and starts to run out with him to the Falcon that’s located in the field of yellow flowers. “General Hux was reported dead way before the battle of Exegol...he was killed he was our spy! Why would he build a whole other legion of troops to just attack Coruscant?” She asks as she shuts the ramp to the Falcon. </p><p>“Because he hates me, he always did. The man wanted nothing but power so he was a spy. I knew of course but I also knew he’d been taken care of by Allegiant Pride. Wha I don’t know is who decided to start the attack if he’s dead. What’re you doing- you’re not going into battle. Are you insane?” He asks as he turns his chair to look at her. “Rey get back into the Villa right now.” He demands.</p><p>Rey scoffs and shakes her head, sitting in the co-pilot seat. “They need me! My friends are there and they’re being attacked! You don’t get to just demand me-“</p><p>“Rey! I swear if you don’t get back inside that Villa and stay inside until I come back I’ll-“</p><p>“You’ll do what?” She asks and crosses her arms.</p><p>“Rey you need to stay safe for your own sake and for the babies! Please! If you get hurt it’s over! I’m not gonna let you push yourself into these situations because you want to save everyone! You can’t just save everyone that’s not how the galaxy works. I’ve got a blaster and two trusty sabers..now please..just..stay safe for me..” He pleads with her as he has growing concern and tears in his eyes. </p><p>Rey nods and doesn’t say anything. He presses a kiss to her forehead. “I’ll be back, sweetheart..” He whispers as the ramp door opens and she leaves, going back to the grassy field and watches Ben fly away in the Falcon. </p><p>Rey is beyond pissed, he commanded her around like she was some inferior being. She had every right to go and help her friends, they were people she considered to be family. Sometimes, just sometimes she forgets she’s pregnant so she’s always ready to go into action. She looks down at her small bump that’s forming and places a hand on it, feeling around for those two happy little life forces and she smiles. Hopefully whatever had happened on Coruscant would be okay..” </p><p>Rey closes her eyes as she feels the sun beat down on her as she sits in the flowery field. She finds herself missing the dry heat of Jakku. She wasn’t used to humidity. It was a type of heat that made her want to sit in a cool bathe. She sighs as she sits up, bored with nothing to do. Ben makes sure that he’s always around when she does something like painting the nurseries or building something. She knows he cares but it’s almost overbearing but she’s reminded that neither her nor Ben had really ever been cared for. She could say the same thing about herself, she always was worrying about Ben, if the voices in his head ever came back, if he felt like he might be at a breaking point and Ben would tell her a million times that he was fine. Rey believes him, but she also wants to make sure she’s doing a good job at being in a relationship. She feels that life hit her all at once and in the span of 3 years she’d become a Jedi, killed Palpatine, found out she was apart of a dyad and that she truly had never been alone and now she was engaged and pregnant to her other half of the dyad. It’s overwhelmingly a lot to take in but she loves it most ardently. </p><p>It only takes Ben two days before he is making his way back to Naboo with Rose, Poe and Finn on the Falcon with Lando following behind them with Chewie and Jannah. The so called milita was a band of known war criminals from the First Order who only wanted to cause chaos. They posed no real threat and Ben dealt with them accordingly. He had not Rey’s friends that the real reason Rey had not gone out to battle was because she was four months pregnant with twin boys. He had easily lied and told them she was on a mission somewhere else at the moment. The gang all seemed to believe him. He did offer them to stay at the Valkirye lake villa for a few days so they could take a break. Ben had noticed the groups exhaustion as for them the war had not ended, there was so much work that had been laid upon them while the Senate sat on their asses and did nothing per usual. It made Ben angry that even after the war, the New Republic was the same. He listened to Poe talk politics with Finn and he rolled his eyes. </p><p>“Look, the truth is that you all asked for this.” Ben spoke as he turned his seat to them.<br/>Poe raises an eyebrow and crosses his arms. “I’m sorry..what?”<br/>Finn allows himself to narrow his eyes at Ben.</p><p>“This is what you fought countless years for. You wanted this democracy. I will admit that the Order was not perfect, no governing system has really ever worked but we still have the same people in command other than those who were on the Hosnian System. But then again all of the very important political figures fled their citizens when the war started, so destroying the Hosnian System did not wipe out those we were trying to get rid of.” Ben looks at Poe and smirks smugly. Although Rose, the short one with a feisty personality seems to agree with Ben. </p><p>“I hate the order but nothing has changed one bit. The Senators of the Republic..have not fixed anything like they said they would. They are still terribly sexist, assholes who let the rich live and prosper while others starve. We would need someone relatively young with a background in politics, someone who was a good strong leader to run the Senate and help it get back into order. Without General Organa there is nobody around to help them make better choices.” Rose speaks as she lets her hair down and puts a fist on her chin.</p><p>Somehow the group of Poe, Finn and Rose all collectively look to Ben Solo. Insinuating that he should run for the Senate on Naboo.</p><p>“No-no way. I am absolutely not doing that-.”</p><p>“Rose is right we would need someone like you to do this.” Finn cuts him off. Poe nods in agreement. </p><p>“That is very funny that you all think that I would be able to run for Senate.”</p><p>“Nobody besides those who really knew Leia ahem- your mother would have known you were Kylo Ren.” Finn speaks, confident in himself.</p><p>“I have...more important obligations than to run Naboo. I believe that the current Queen would not like it if I were to run anyways. She isn’t very fond of me..”</p><p>“What could you have going on that is so much more important than running for the Senate?” Rose interjects. </p><p>“You guys will find out soon..” Ben smiles smugly and the group all rolls their eyes at him.<br/>“You know, Poe maybe you would be good as a political figure.” Ben quirks his eyebrow up at him.</p><p>“Oh hell no, politics are not my thing. I just sit back and blow things up and make sure the people of the galaxy have their freedom.” Pie puts his hands up. </p><p>Nobody says much after that, finally reaching their destination of Naboo, with Jannah, Chewie and Lando Lansing at the same time. Ben promptly welcomes everyone to the Villa.</p><p>“You grew up here?” Finn asks as he looks around the main quarters. <br/>“No..I grew up on Chandrila...I used to come here a lot with my second cousins and distant family members. But I would mostly spend the time alone. I didn’t mind it though...it’s a very beautiful place..” </p><p>“At least the people here aren’t as bad as those on Canto Bight.” Rose scoffs. </p><p>“I never liked Canto...full of terrible people. The only thing they’re good for is the casino. My father loved going there.” Poe states. “I always preferred calmer settings when I was younger. My parents had a force tree in our backyard. My great great great aunt planted it there. I liked it, the force was calming. Not how it is now though.” Poe remarks and Ben is not sure what he means by that, the force was stable, there was balance.</p><p>“Well what do you mean by that? Do you feel something in the force?”</p><p>“No, I’m not- saying like spiritually things are off, I mean all the Jedi are dead.” Poe speaks quietly. “They were already running low on Jedi since Order 66. Since then things have not been the same. That’s at least what my grandparents had told me.”</p><p>“Rey is a Jedi..” Ben mutters.</p><p>“Right but she is the only Jedi left. I don’t think she wants to rebuild the Jedi Order at least not in the way the current Senate wants her to.”</p><p>“Well how does the Senate want her to run it?” Ben asks, sipping on tea. He used to be a coffee guy, needing extra caffeine to endure the strenuous training Snoke would put him through. But, since he had been with Rey for almost a whole year he had been drinking tea since Rey did not drink coffee. She hated the taste, the smell and everything about it. Especially with her being pregnant she had been dealing with a lot of first trimester symptoms so he was willing to  not drink or have coffe around if it meant he would not have to watch poor Rey throw up in the morning and then crying because she threw up. </p><p>“They want it to be the same way it was before the days of the Empire, take children away from their families and homes, train them.” Poe says and he looks at Finn who has now realized that that was the same protocol for the First Order to abduct troopers and put them in the Stormtrooper program.</p><p>“No! Jedi wouldn’t do that..they couldn’t ya know? They’re supposed to be the good guys..” Finn argues. </p><p>“The problem wasn’t the Jedi...it’s the Senate...they had power over what the Jedi order did and the rules. It was not always like this. Besides..soon enough you’ll have a new Senator to help progress things..” Ben spoke and smirked to himself. Soon enough Rey walked into the main quarters, wearing a blue night gown with gold pearls embellishing the silky fabric. Her growing belly showing, it was not as easy to hide it anymore. “Oh my god! I can’t believe you’re all here! I knew I sensed a familiar presence!” Rey exclaims as she happily runs to Finn and gives him a big hug. </p><p>“Oh, peanut! It’s good to see you. It’s been a few months- oh my god! Are you pregnant?!” Finn exclaims as Poe, Lando, Jannah and Rose exam Rey’s bump. </p><p>Rey laughs and nods. “Yes! Four months, twin boys.” Rey smiles as she gives everyone a hug. “I was hoping to tell you guys soon! In fact me and Ben were hoping to have you all come here to announce it but then that mission on Coruscant happened. I tried to come with but with my condition I really can’t. You know I want to be out there with you guys.” She says as she makes her rounds giving everyone hugs and feels Ben wrap his arm around her stomach.</p><p>“So- Ben is the father?” Jannah asks as she notices the protective hold Ben has Rey in.</p><p>“Why who else would she be with?” Ben asks, almost irritated that Jannah would insinuate Rey would ever be with someone else. He feels his anger and jealousy rise up but is calmed down bythe soothing touch of Reys hand on his. She looks up to him.</p><p>“I think what she is trying to say is that this is a shock to everyone. She was only asking a question Ben.” Rey says as she guides the group to their personal section of the villa. </p><p>Everyone is seated on the couch or the floor all drinking booze, except for Rey for obvious reasons. <br/>-----------------------------------------------------------------------------<br/>“So, Ben and I are thinking about having you all be here for our wedding-”<br/>Lando starts laughing. “A wedding huh? My boy you definitely are not the same kid I remember on Cloud City!” Lando cackles and everyone looks around to see Ben turning a bright red color.<br/>“You know- I don’t think we need to talk about that right now, uncle.” Ben interjects.<br/>Lando nods and laughs. “Alright starfighter!” He puts his hands up in agreement.</p><p>Finn looks at Rey and stands up before going over to Rey. “You’re getting married? When did all of this happen?” He asked and gives a glare to Ben as the rest of the group goes on listening to Lando talk about how Ben was very much a charmer like Han. Finn pulls Rey out to the patio. “Rey I can’t let you do this.” He says quietly as he looks over to see Ben has left the group and disappeared.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Kudos appreciated! what do you think?</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0015"><h2>15. Misunderstandings</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>It’s been a while and now I have a beta to ensure you get some decent content!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Rey seemed taken aback by what Finn had just told her. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <strong>“Rey I can’t let you do this.”</strong>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It had shocked her to her core that Finn would dare say such a thing. How had he switched up so quickly on being civil with Ben?  “Finn, what are you talking about? I thought you two had finally gotten along. What’s with the sudden change?” She asks, her eyes filled with worry and hesitation. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“There’s a darkness in him. I can feel it Rey. I’ve felt it growing for some time now and I’m worried.” Finn pauses, grabbing her hands, his grip tight but not painful.</span>
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  <span>“I’m worried he’ll hurt you.” He glances down at her growing stomach. Rey's smile was soft as she understood his meaning.</span>
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  <span>Rey knew there was darkness manifesting in her family, it wasn’t growing inside of Ben, it was growing inside of her. She had been having dreams, </span>
  <em>
    <span>nightmares</span>
  </em>
  <span>,  ripping apart the galaxy for all it had done to her. She had never felt so angry, so consistently, she feared that this was going beyond her pregnancy. Part of her wonders if Leia might have felt this way when she was carrying Ben, if she had felt the darkness that started to corrupt him before his own birth. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s not him you should be worried about, Finn.” Her voice softened as she spoke. There was a rawness that made even Finn nervous. “I am the one with the darkness… These past few months I’ve never felt more unbalanced and I’m afraid. I haven’t told Ben because I’m scared by saying it out loud it’ll become true.” </span>
  <span>Finn shook his head, unable to comprehend what his best friend was suggesting. She couldn't fall to the dark side. She couldn't.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t understand.” Finn shakes his head as he takes a step back, his hands falling from hers. He takes a shaky breath and finds her gaze, struggling to accept what she had told him. “You promise that Ben is… good to you? If he’s hurting you or-or trying to do anything to harm those babies I’ll-“</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’ll what?” Ben emerges onto the balcony standing behind Finn, hearing most of the conversation.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Finn looks to Rey,  his eyes now filled with shame at being caught.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ben leans up against the archway and lets out a soft chuckle. “I know you’re protective of Rey, I’ve seen how much you care for her. I don’t blame you. But Rey can handle herself. She doesn’t need to warn you about her feelings towards me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Finn looks at Ben and then to Rey who was currently glaring at the two of them with her arms crossed. Ben makes his way over to Rey, his hand silently slipping around her waist, leaning down he places a soft kiss to her cheek. Finn excuses himself from the balcony as he mutters something Rey can’t quite hear. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What was that about?” His voice full of concern and laced with something that made Rey pause for just a moment before turning to look at him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You know exactly what that was about. Listening to people’s conversations isn’t polite. Surely even </span>
  <em>
    <span>you</span>
  </em>
  <span> should know that.” She glared at him, an obvious enough sign for Ben to let go of her waist. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why wouldn’t you tell me that you were feeling this way?” Ben’s eye twitches as he throws his hands in the air.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m afraid, Ben. Afraid of what might happen if we talk about it. I have been having nightmares and I don’t know what to do.” She pauses, as if she has to think if she wants to continue the conversation. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You should have come to me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I-I know. I should have said something but what if something out there in the Force tries to turn them before their lives have even started? What happens then?” Her voice rang higher and higher as she spoke. Ben sighed and shook his head, a small smile on his face. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Nothing is going to happen to them.” He promised. “Sweetheart,” he whispered, “I check on them every night to make sure that no one will turn them, like I had. Rey this darkness you're feeling it isn't coming from them, it's coming from you.” He looks at her and holds her arms to reassure her that everything will be alright. “Everyone has darkness in them, me, Finn, and yes, even you. With light there always comes darkness to meet it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re starting to sound like your uncle.” Rey softly chuckles as she wiped away tears she hadn’t even realized were rolling down her cheeks.  She turns and looks out at the setting sun cascading over the lake. It casted brilliant hues of oranges and yellows and shaded her face in a warm glow. A silence sat between them, not one of negativity, but one of peace and serenity. Their bond hummed at simply being in each other’s presence. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“My uncle wasn’t a terrible </span>
  <em>
    <span>master,</span>
  </em>
  <span>” he said after some time, “just flawed, as we all are. I spent most of my life hating him, wanting revenge and in the end he sought me out trying to bring me to the light, to bring me home. I wish I had taken </span>
  <em>
    <span>your</span>
  </em>
  <span> hand in the throne room that night. I didn’t-” He falters for a second. “ </span>
  <em>
    <span>It could have saved so many lives</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Lives </span>
  <em>
    <span>I</span>
  </em>
  <span> instead took away because of my own personal vendetta against him, against my mother, against The Resistance, and you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Rey reaches out and takes his hand, pulling him close and pressing a soft kiss to the back of it “Ben, Snoke had been breaking you down, tearing your soul apart. What’s important is that we forgive each other and ourselves for the things that are beyond our control.” Her voice was so kind, so empathetic, it was one of the many things he loved about her. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We should head back inside don’t you think?” She asks as she begins to walk towards the archway of the balcony, her hand slowly falling from his.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ben stands there and looks at her, a smile spreading across his face. “I’ll join you in a moment, sweetheart.” He watches her go before turning to face the lake. He breathes in the fresh, cool evening air and stares out at the lake. There are children playing in the lake, two young boys and an older girl, splashing around and laughing. He looks up to the stars as the sun has set. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry. I disappointed you, I messed up—I should have never let myself fall so far and now that you’re gone, I feel as if I've failed you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Suddenly a foreign laugh comes from behind him and when he turns to investigate he sees nobody there, that’s when he feels a sharp tug on his pants. Ben stares down in shock at the sight before him. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Master Yoda.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Mmm- failure teaches us, yes?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes but-” Ben is stopped when Yoda hits Ben in the shin “Ow! What was that for?!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Pass on your knowledge you must. Change is good, wrong the Jedi were about the dark side. The dark side balances us all does it not hmm?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s not what Luke would tell me.” He mutters as he rubs his aching leg.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Teach Luke more, I should have. Flawed are the Jedi ways.” The grand old Jedi Master seemed to be open minded to the always changing ethics of the Jedi. Perhaps he too had some regrets just as Ben.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m no Jedi… I won’t teach my children unless they want to. I won't make the same mistakes my family did.” Bens voice falters and he grabs the railing. “You knew my grandfather, why didn’t you help him? Why could nobody help him before it was too late?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Mistaken we were about Anakin, the chosen one he was. Helpful and understanding the Jedi were not. Jedi are not peacemakers but peacekeepers. Preserving the Jedi was our goal mmmh. In love Anakin was but balanced he was not.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Everything is changing.” Ben said softly, unsure if that was a good thing or bad thing. Was he moving too fast? Perhaps he should have waited longer before putting so much pressure on Rey to become a mother, a wife and a Jedi. She could only do so much. Ben still has no idea how his mother handled being a galactic senator and a mother, the harsh reality was that she didn’t handle it well. She had been too involved with her work to not notice Bens emotional needs and he would make sure history wouldn’t repeat itself.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span> He worries that maybe he’s become a little too overbearing for Rey to handle, it’s not something she’s used to. He knows for certain she can take care of herself and their children he just wants to make sure she never feels alone again.</span>
</p>
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